Maman des Filles

My Cowardly Sister

2011-08-09T22:54:00.008-05:00

An open letter to my sister who blogs under the name The Cranky Housewife:

I knew that you would be a coward unable to handle anyone contradicting the illusion that you have created about yourself. Luckily, I saved my comment. Hopefully, Brittany from A Political Mind will see what you have blocked.

If you are interested in reading my sister's demented screed please feel free to look her up at the cranky housewife. Be assured that she hates feminists, liberals, self-actualized humans and anyone who disagrees with her by using the most generic, disproven stereotypes that are thrown around by any git on Fox News. Example:

Liberal feminists are typically loud mouthed complainers who want to have their cake, eat it too just as long as there are no trans fats… and they certainly won’t be baking that cake from scratch like some housewife or something. Just what kind of woman do you take them for?

yeah. that's it. We liberal chicks don't love our families, cook or do laundry or do anything homespun-ny. And anyone who is read my blog, KNOWS that I am all about the modern conveniences and not lifting a finger...

On the other hand, this is how she describes herself and those women like her:

Any man who is married to a conservative feminist will tell you that his least favorite conversations ever start with the words, “Honey, I’m not happy about something.” Those husbands know full well that this one simple phrase is (like it or not) a call to action, and can quite literally change the world – one universe at a time. Once a conservative feminist gets a bee in her bonnet there will be no peace until her demands are met, and if that means changing the direction in which the planet Earth revolves around the sun in order to restore harmony... well, the sooner we get started working on that the happier we’ll all be.

Ugh. Obviously the same nasty bully she has always been. My way or the highway. Margo has been the kind of gal that would use your feelings for her to get her own way. Don't want to see her in pain? Pay for that, bitch.

One political blogger tried to use logic and reason with my batshit crazy sister and responded several times to Margo's craziness. Here is my response to her that naturally my sister deleted. Because she doesn't want facts interfering with what people think about her:

Brittany, Don't waste your breath. My sister has always made up stories when facts don't exist. If you listen to what she writes you understand that "conservative feminism" is bullying people until you get your own way. She thinks that Puritans were first wave feminists! Not exactly the word that I would use to describe Mary Wollstonecraft assuming that Crankypants even knows who she is. (oops, I forgot, education and culture are wastes of time when one has laundry to do - truly the feminist mantra).

Remember that her type is a bully and a user and will insult, lie, and use any institution that they can to get what they want.

Let me tell you about an example. Picture a man and woman who spend several nights a week at the home of their daughter who just gave birth to triplets to watch over, feed and change the moppets over night so their daughter and son-in-law could sleep. Now imagine that when the boys reach their first birthday, that man and woman are told that they are terrible people and the woman is an alcoholic who is a danger to those children. In order to have contact with their grandchildren that man and woman would have to stop drinking, go to AA and then go into therapy. Imagine then the folks being told that the daughter's parish priest (who never met the folks) agreed that the folks were a danger to the daughter and her family.

Now you might ask the question, "If the folks were so dangerous, why did the daughter allow her sweet boys to be thus endangered?" Ahh. The answer is: the daughter needed them. And when she didn't anymore? Well out to the trash with you. And I bet you aren't surprised to learn that the daughter in this story is my sister, the cranky housewife.

Good Christian and homespun family sort that she is hasn't let her parents see her children in 7 years. I haven't seen them either even though I baptised them the day that they were born.

Oh, and I am a liberal. And I used to work "outside" the home, which deeply offended the her new, improved extended family.

So don't pay too much attention to what Mscrankypants has to say. She is full of bluster and bull and I haven't seen her bake a cake from scratch or otherwise in the 36 years I was allowed to consort with her.

You say that the tea party neglects history? True that. My sister is truly one of them at heart. She cast off her parents, her sister and her two nieces in order to protect her new world from evidence of her previous existence because those facts don't mesh with what she wants you to know about her.

The heartlessness she showed her nieces, in particular, is a perfect mirror of how the Tea Party operates.

Give me what I want or the little one's get hurt.

Very homespun indeed.

So she is a good Christian, homespun sort. and I am a fat loudmouth with no kindness in my soul.

In her world? Conservative = Good; Liberal - Bad (or Communist or whatever it is that people who have never had to accomplish anything on their own says about people who make an effort). She blocked my comment and closed all the comments on her blog to keep me from saying anything that she doesn't want anyone to know about her.

And by blocked my comment, I mean she probably got my brother-in-law to do it for her as details have never really been her forte and we all know what happens when a bully doesn't get her way.

In true conservative "feminist" fashion.

There You Are, My Pretty

2010-11-11T18:31:00.004-06:00

Did you get lost?

or are you suffering from Stockholm Syndrome after a traumatic kidnapping.

You seem to be clean of eyeliner stains, but God knows how those girls abused you...

Come back to me. Don't be afraid. I will take care of you.

What Does This Picture Say?

2010-11-11T14:24:00.003-06:00

Yes, this is a dryer. My dryer.

What does this picture tell you?

Clothes are dried and someone has picked out the stuff they need and left the rest.

To me, that says, "This is mine. Clean up after me or wait until I decide I am done with it".

I find my dryer in this condition at least 4 days a week. Additionally, there are clothes on the floor of the laundry room (closet) and the lint trappings are on the floor as well, even though there is a garbage can.

Oh, and the caps are off the laundry detergents because

That is it. Just because.

I have asked that everyone in the house empty the washer and dryer when they are done and stop using it like a dresser.

This is the response I get.

Don't ask me why I am angry with you all the time. Your actions speak louder than your words. This is your world, and I am an annoyance. I get it.

Buggered Off

2010-11-09T22:49:00.005-06:00

Yeah, I know that I haven't been posting much here. I have been busy and absorbed in bullpuckey.

But lately stuff has been weird. So I am posting.

You might have noticed this about me. But my stuff? It tends to bugger off. Go on walkabout. Piss off. Leave me.

Why? Apparently my stuff feels that I am not cool enough or it likes to be beaten up so it knows that it is loved. Cause, I will tell you I was much easier on my stuff than its new masters....

And by new masters, I presume it my stuff has left my employ without notice to hang with my much younger and much cooler daughters. The downside? Well, they are going to leave you dirty and stained with eyeliner and a foundation that belongs to a bi-racial woman and not my pale Irish-German-French lasses on the floor of an unkempt bathroom. When you return to me, you will be a dingy shadow of your former self and they will have moved on to newer, cleaner towel. Maybe one bought by their grandfather for his new girlfriend for their holiday visit.

So, my new fluffy towel? Return to your peg. Come back to me. I am offering you a long term relationship based on respect and admiration. I won't abuse you and call it love.

Come back.

Your place is waiting for you....

Morning Coffee

2010-11-09T09:43:00.003-06:00

I don't drink coffee.

Yet, every morning I go through the coffee wars.

"Mom can we stop for coffee?" = "Mom, go buy me coffee"

Sometimes, I do. But not often because a. I was not put on earth to buy you shit. b. We have a coffee maker c. We have coffee, half and half, sugar, carmel sauce, chocolate sauce, etc. d. Get up earlier and make your own.

This morning Celia made herself coffee. Apparently she hasn't made the coffee with beans before.

"Mom! We have to stop for coffee. There is something wrong with the coffeemaker" I looked at the pot she held up of warm tan water. "Sorry babe, you must have forgotten to do something".

She did it all right. So, I went over to the machine and checked it. Yep. She put the beans in the coffee maker all right. But not in the grinder. She put them into the brewing basket. Better yet? The basket was filled to the brim for 4 cups of coffee. Oy! She ran the grinder without beans in it.

So I loaded it up the grinder and start the coffee.

Then the cup wars began. Yes, my teenagers fought over cups like they were toddlers and they both wanted the blue sippy cup.

Then they argued over who was the owner of the three day old sausage biscuit (my rule of thumb is that the day that the meal was served there might be some ownership claim, the next day? forget it. And the third day? STFU. It belongs to the person who puts it into the microwave. I am just grateful it isn't taking up space in the fridge).

I went to the car and waited.

I don't have the energy or patience. I haven't had my tea yet. Not that anyone cares.

Melancholy

2010-05-20T21:41:00.001-05:00

As graduation approaches,

I am melancholy.

For what Sophie has lost

What I have lost

For not being able to speak my piece.

My heart is broken.

Personality tests

2010-04-29T12:10:00.002-05:00

I heard about the Enneagram tests while listening to the Stuff Mom Never Told You podcast. I had never heard of it before... so naturally, I looked it up and took a quizzy thing.

What do you think? Does this sound like me?

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%

Your main type is 3
Your variant is sexual

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Mike Quigley On Rahm Emanuel For Chicago Mayor: 'This Is All Bulls***,' Daley Will Run Again

2010-04-21T15:33:00.001-05:00

Hmmm, Good to see that Congressman Quigley has time to chat about hypotheticals instead of answering questions from his constituents.. i.e. Me.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Tik Tok... Can This Song Be Over Already?

2010-04-17T12:47:00.002-05:00

I am sick of this song and all the variations that I have been forced to listen to on B96...

This discussion of it, amused me to no end, even though I generally avoid anything to do with Princeton out of sheer UofC stubbornness... Still... Once again, I will be listening to this piece as Celia will be dancing to it tonight at her HS arts fest.

From Green Roofs to Clean Tech: How Chicago Is Preparing for the Sustainable Future

2010-04-15T15:01:00.001-05:00

And yes. We have recycling programs. The city is changing from the Old Blue Bag program to a new blue bin program. Sorry, it isn't moving fast enough for you. Luckily you can go ahead and produce wind to power the existing and future turbines in the City.

You certainly aren't a ray of sunshine to power the many City-installed solar arrays. Go visit some of your area museums and elementary schools. You will find them there. And before you shine a dark cloud on that program, please note that Chicago receives 90% of the insolation that Miami does so even solar power makes sense in Chicago.

If you DO want to help the environment of Chicago instead of just criticizing it, I suggest you encourage everyone you know to change the color their roof and using light reflective surfaces in lieu of blacktop. The dark colors change the solar radiation into thermal radiation and increase the temperature of the City by up to 15 degrees. This is called the Urban Heat Island Effect. And you can decrease it by the choices that you make in building materials. The City of Chicago even has a requirement for it in their Energy Code. We were the first city in the country to set a requirement.

But I am guessing that you weren't aware of that either.
About Climate Change
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

From Green Roofs to Clean Tech: How Chicago Is Preparing for the Sustainable Future

2010-04-15T15:00:00.001-05:00

Green roofs my arse? Maybe that is where you stuck your head.

Are you aware why we don't have as many turbine's as we would like.. and we DO have turbines in the city or haven't you seen the VAWT turbines at Lee Lumber which you can see from the Kennedy... Traditional turbines have a tendency to kill migratory birds which is a federal crime and they create disturbances with radio and television signals. Also there are plenty of people who freak out the possibility EMF, or didn't you read the story about the MD man who is suing his neighbor because she won't turn off her wireless router?

Additionally, I am guessing that you really don't understand that the phrase "Windy City" doesn't refer to the amount of wind from a meteorological stand point but rather the 'hot air' produced by its politicians. The potential for wind in Chicago it fair- good at best, if you have ever looked at wind map you would realize that. The best option would be from a wind farm located in Lake Michigan which is being argued against for the reasons that I have mentioned above, not to mention concerns about aesthetics, i.e. ruining the view.
About Climate Change
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Gleeful

2010-04-15T10:05:00.002-05:00

Yes, I am happy that Glee is back... and this made me laugh... I have it with the original video so you can see the effort that they went to to make it accurate. Very glad that I didn't have to see Sue Sylvester's nipples.. that would have creeped me out a bit...

Cousin Meme - Three Things

2010-04-05T12:00:00.002-05:00

I got this from my cousin, Jackie....

She sent it to me by email, but I am responding via the internetz... 'cause that's how I roll...
Please don't break the cycle, it's fun to learn different things about our family and friends!

Three names I go by:

1. Gretchen

2. Mom

3. Maman

Three places I've lived:

1. Lockport

2. Chicago

3. Horseheads

Three places I've worked:

1. The Palace Theater

2. Haskell & Perrin

3. City of Chicago

Three things I love to watch:

1. Glee

2. The Big Bang Theory

3. The Rachel Maddow Show

Three places I have been:

1. London

2. Paris

3. Mt. Waialeale

Three people who email me regularly:

1. Sophie

2. Kevin

3. Buddy

Three things I love to eat:

1. Bison Chip Dip (luckily sold too far away for me to indulge)

2. Tuna salad

3. raspberries

Three people I think will respond:

1. Marguerite

2. maybe Kevin

3. Poppy?

Three things I am looking forward to: (in no particular order)

1. Not having to yell at anyone about chores or homework

2. Always knowing that my deodorant, brush and makeup can be found exactly where I left them

3. The revenge of grandchildren.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do....and please do not spoil the
fun. Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then
send this to a few good friends or family INCLUDING the person who
sent it to you.

Love Me X's 3

Oh, Where Oh, Where Has Maman Been?

2010-03-30T19:05:00.006-05:00

I am not quite ready to tell the story yet.

Some of you know.... and I appreciate your support and love.

For the rest of you? I ask that you hang in there. I will say what I need to say eventually. I am waiting for the pain to lessen. Yes, I have been at a loss for words which is someone monumental in and of itself. Plus, I still keep thinking that I am stuck in a Kafka story.

The kids are more or less fine. Rocked a bit, but rolling with it... The same with Kevin. We are all healthy and safe.

As for the rest, I am sure when I finally settle myself down enough to write this out, you will think I made this story up. Trust me.

On a lighter note, I did go to Missouri to attend a teen volleyball tournament and while there I got to meet Busy Mom! So there is proof that life doesn't totally suck.

Limbaugh: I'll Leave US If Health Care Reform Passes (VIDEO)

2010-03-09T15:33:00.001-06:00

I love a scenario with no downsides.... Adios and good luck, I am sure Costa Rican's will be thrilled to have you (wish I had a sarcasm key)
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

GOP Rep: Blacks Worse Off Now Than Under Slavery (VIDEO)

2010-02-26T15:10:00.001-06:00

I am going to guess that the droopy eye is from the stroke that wiped out his empathy center, common sense and moral compass....
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

DIBS!

2010-02-21T18:18:00.003-06:00

There is a long standing tradition that allows individuals to dig out the parking spot in front of their home and save it with assorted household junk.. This system is called "DIBS".

Is it childish? YES

Is it ridiculous? If you don't live in Chicago? YES!

Does it exist to this day? FUCK, YES!

Are there penalties for screwing with the system? You better fucking believe it. In my neighborhood? Slashed tires, not that anyone would dare remove a toddler bed to park.

I am posting some of my dibs pix. I love them. It is very Chicago which is my chosen home. But in all fairness? I warn you. I have a garage and don't need the spot in front of my house. But if you put garbage in front of my house? I am going to throw that shit out.
Why?

Well, while I appreciate tradition...

You can keep that crap in front of your own house.

Nancy Elliott, Anti-Gay Lawmaker, Describes Anal Sex During Public Hearing: 'Wriggling' Around 'In Excrement'

2010-02-12T15:06:00.001-06:00

Are the legislators sitting on either side of State Rep. Elliott so inured to her nuttiness that they can't even work up a look of surprise as she goes on and on....
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

He's With That Kook!

2010-02-08T22:42:00.003-06:00

moar funny pictures

You've got a video made by Qik VideoCamera

2010-02-07T17:56:00.001-06:00

The attached video was created using Qik VideoCamera application for
the iPhone.

Sent from my iPhone

You've got a video made by Qik VideoCamera

2010-02-07T17:55:00.001-06:00

The attached video was created using Qik VideoCamera application for
the iPhone.

Sent from my iPhone

What my view of the Superbowl will look like

2010-02-07T15:46:00.001-06:00

But there will be no sound except the cheers of volleyball players

Views from the hood

2010-02-07T13:25:00.001-06:00

Yes, that is the neighborhood monster truck

Can you guess my favorite line from this?

2010-02-07T12:42:00.001-06:00

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Keeping the stiffs in?

2010-02-06T14:53:00.000-06:00

You Say Its Your Birthday!

2010-02-05T22:11:00.002-06:00

Ok.

You say its MY birthday.

And again, it has been a lovely day.

It began last night at 11:30, when Celia came up behind me, gave me a hug and a kiss and said, "Sorry, I am really tired. I can't wait any longer.. I need to go to bed".

"That's ok. Get some sleep," I told her... "You can wish me Happy Birthday when my 'real birthday' happens at 5:30 in the morning". She laughed and told me she would send me a text message.

And

I got one at 5:30am.

That was the beginning of my day.

Isn't that lovely?

Volleyball Again.

2010-01-16T19:30:00.003-06:00

What does this show?

Folding chair, gym bag, crappy rubber tile floor...

Yes, I a

m at a volleyball tournament.

Or I was. We are done for the day.

Sophie played reasonably well. She has a great serve, but doesn't bend her knees enough to get to the low shots. We are considering making her do wall sit drills to build muscle memory (joking). I don't have to worry about it. The coach will make her do those next week.

For some reason, volleyball tourneys bring out my snark factor. For instance. Joan Jett was sitting in front of me.

Her spiky hair was so tall it was hard to see over it.

One of our opposing teams chants loudly and ritualistically every conceivable moment. even while warming up. Nothing like 12 girls standing 5 feet behind you yelling at 100 decibels while you are trying to watch a match. On the other hand, that chanting seems to make them act with Nazi like efficiency while they wipe the floor with their opponents.

I saw a girl who was about 5'9 and was maybe about 100 lbs. of which I believe 5lbs was hair. I have never seen such small thighs on a functioning human. Also her ankles were about 5 inches around.

Oy.

I think my bad attitude comes from having to be up at 6:30am on Saturday morning and out of the house by 7:00 to make an 8:15 warmup.

Another Fairy Visit

2010-01-12T22:56:00.002-06:00

Today my household was visited by another fairy...

The toilet paper roll fairy. This fairy collects all the finished tubes from toilet paper and throws them in the trash and puts out new toilet paper.

In other news, I am working long hours today and tomorrow. And after making fun of the the "Worst Cook in America" show on Food Network, I am now being followed by one of the contestants on Twitter.

Life is weird.

But then again, I live in a house with fairies.

Teri Hatcher Dons A Fat Suit (VIDEO)

2010-01-04T23:23:00.001-06:00

Are we supposed to think she is brave? Bite me!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

2009? Good Riddance

2010-01-01T17:48:00.002-06:00

There are plenty of things that I would change in the new year. There is the usual wish list of things that we all hope for.

But I am going to focus on the things that I am NOT going to change.

Sleepovers are off again. No questions asked.

Everytime there is a sleepover, girls come home nasty and cranky. Or worse. They are teenagers. I need to make sure that they are more closely supervised overnight.

I will continue asking girls about their plans. I am tired of checking in on them and finding their are "hanging out" (loitering). Nothing good can come of it and plenty bad stuff can.

I will continue to push the girls to want and be better than the average kid. They need to be able to articulate plans for themselves further than Saturday night. If they can't think about it.. they will never be able to achieve it.

I will continue to set rules according to my own set of beliefs. I will not be guided by whether other parents do or don't allow something. I am not them.

I will continue to expect respect. I don't care what you might hear someone say about me. You might hear someone say that they disagree with the way I do things. You might hear someone say that I need to get a life. Be very clear. This is my life. And whoa be to you to repeat that nonsense to me. Nothing good will come of it. I guarantee it. You won't look worldly. You will appear mouthy and disrespectful.

I will not listen to your diatribes about how I don't understand what you are going through. I have a much better idea about your life then you do about mine. And if your description takes longer than five minutes, then you have moved into lecturing me. Bad idea.

What I do want this year is world peace, closeness with friends and family that doesn't require me to give up being me and a decent amount of prosperity and so I can do most of the stuff that I want.

As for the rest of it? Be warned that I won't be changing that. Nor do I want to.

Warming Up

2009-12-28T07:52:00.000-06:00

At Mayor Daley's winter Sports Fest!

Another Day

2009-12-28T06:50:00.000-06:00

Out before the crack of dawn!

Whack!

2009-12-27T23:18:00.003-06:00

What does this image have to do with my day?

Well, first. I got whacked in the head with it.

Second. I spent the day at Mayor Daley's Sports Fest! Yeah me!

The good news is that Sophie played well. She is the number one server on her team. After 8 seasons of volleyball in 4 years she has perfected her serve and it is pretty swell.

However, I was there at 7am. That means we left the house at 6:15. Which means that I am really tired. blah.

And I will go again tomorrow.

Same Bat Time. Same Bat Station. oy!

However this time, I will NOT be bringing big sis with us. She spent the day leaning on me due to exhaustion. She was up half the night watching crappy movies (The Hangover ("you really should see it Mom!) and probably ingesting substances that I have listed as off limits. (just guessing from the death look and the vomiting)). Not that she will be allowed to wander the earth like Kung Fu. She will be home writing a report for me about the Odyssey... or she will be home the rest of the vacation.

Yeah.

I am that Mom.

I suppose this could have been written by a fetus

2009-12-23T16:58:00.001-06:00

http://failblog.org/2009/12/21/epic-spelling-fail/

Family Card and Newsletter

2009-12-21T17:09:00.003-06:00

Joe Lieberman sucks

2009-12-16T20:05:00.002-06:00

The last couple of days have sucked. Everytime I look at the news, I am miserable.

The Healthcare Debate? Fuck Joe Lieberman. Why does he get to make the decisions based on what is best for him and his cronies instead of actual Americans.

That woman who disappeared from her home in Utah without her purse or car keys? She is dead. Her husband did it. And her father won't criticize him publicly. Anyone who takes toddlers camping at midnight in a snow storm is up to no good.

Add to it, that this morning we woke up with no hot water or hot air. The thermostat died and stopped hot air from flowing which then chilled the water in the water heater so it didn't work properly.

Can you guess that I just got my first paycheck? well, I guess it is gone now!

But truly this healthcare thing is pissing me off.

So I have emailed President Obama.

I suggest you do the same.

This health care bill is a travesty and I am disappointed that you are encouraging its passage. As a former Hyde Parker, who supported your candidacy before you were an official candidate, I am horrified with your gutless approach to this important subject.

You are making yourself an easy target for your enemies by trying to befriend them. Remember your Machiavelli! It is better to be feared than loved.

Kick some conservative butt. That is what we sent you to Washington for. Do it.

btw: the reCaptch words I got when submitting the email to POTUS? "Scalawag Employees" Weird, eh? Who do you think they are referring to?

A Tale of Two Taylors

2009-12-14T17:33:00.002-06:00

I have had the time to take in and digest the SNL performances of both Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner.

After contemplation, I have determined while both Taylors are talented, it was Taylor Swift who wins the battle of the Taylors.

You question my judgement? See for yourself!

Meme-ing

2009-12-10T18:08:00.001-06:00

I got this from Busy Mom who got it from Headless Mom :

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Jennifer Jason Leigh or Laura Linney (as if you can tell the difference)

2. Where was your first kiss? I am guessing cheek or forehead.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No, but I have considered it

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? I was a big sister. You do the math

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Duh. I was in choir. and Drama Club and Show Choir (YEAH GLEE!)

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Eyes

7. What really turns you off? stupidity

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Vanilla Latte please!

9. What is your biggest mistake? I shudder to consider rating them.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? It depends... are you a Freudian?

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I car dance.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. Never.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Oh yes, It comes with having kids in the house.

14. Did you have braces? Braces and headgear.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? eh. I am still taller than the girls.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Romance is dead

17. When do you know it’s love? If referring to romantic love, I am still trying to figure that out. Beginning to think that love might be equivalent to fear of change. But that is me.

18. Do you speak any other languages? Please note the name of this blog.

19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? Yes. Once. before my wedding

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes.

21. What’s something that really annoys you? jobs done in a half-assed manner

22. What’s something you really like? High thread count sheets

23. Can you dance? Yes. But I will be called a whore for it.

24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes, post-partum pancreatitis sometimes looks like a pulmonary embolism

25. Tag 5 people! Nuts to you! It is the holiday season. Do it if you want.

How Does Your House Run?

2009-12-07T08:35:00.004-06:00

Via FrogHatStudios.com

We have a family of four including a mother (me), father (Fun Daddy), and two delightful teenaged daughters.

Everyone is busy with their work, school, activities and social life.

That is why our house runs on fairy power.

Yes. I said it. Fairy Power.

Magical fairies come and visit my house and perform the tasks that just don't get done without the assistance of tiny wing-ed creatures.

The Sink Fairy is essential at my house. Who else empties the sink after the teens have "done" the dishes? Did you know that Sink Fairies know how to get rid of the food that is rinsed off the plates before they go into the dishwasher? It is true.

I have since found we have a new fairy helping us in our house. It is the sock fairy. This fairy picks up socks off the floor and puts them into the (white) laundry pile. Then after the socks are washed, the sock fairy goes to the sock box and matches the unmatched socks eliminating the need for anyone else in the house to have to even consider undertaking that task.

Thank God for the fairies!

Who helps you keep your house clean?

Perfect

2009-12-03T13:24:00.001-06:00

Is this the the grownup version of Frosty?

Tired Again.

2009-12-02T22:18:00.005-06:00

Why am I tired again?

I slept weird last night.

How weird? How do you sleep weird, you may ask?

I dreamt that I was walking down the street and a wild pygmy hippopotamus bit me.

Yes.

I said

Wild

Pygmy

Hippopotamus

I am deeply disturbed.

I was attacked by an herbavore in my dream. Worse? I woke up in the morning with some sort of cramp in my hip? Can you have a hip cramp? It felt like it was bone deep... I couldn't sleep. I was ridiculously restless. And then I went to work.

Blah. Not about work.. Just those damn hippos.

Tired Again.

2009-12-02T22:18:00.001-06:00

Sadness

2009-12-01T21:03:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was the funeral for Sophie’s friend’s father.

All funerals are very sad, but this seemed extraordinarily so. Mr. Cid was one of 9 children so his extended family is huge. His immediate family is smaller - his wife and his two daughters.

Because the girls go to Catholic school, that meant that Samantha’s classmates could all be in attendence. The 7th graders were there as were the Principal and several teachers who had light teaching schedules that day. It was good to see Sam have so much support.

Three priests led the funeral mass, including one that was no longer at our parish but was close to the family. Sophie and her friend, Jess were the altar servers, having been selected personally by Mrs. Cid. Both had trepidations. Not about funerals. They have served plenty. For kids who serve, weddings and funerals tend to be a bonus for them. It is an opportunity for them to be tipped. God’s little bonus.

This was different. They knew the deceased. They know his family. Are close to them. They were emotional about it and it showed. The girls were so pale in their red cassocks and white albas that I was concerned. Jess’s Mom was as well. But, both girls have been taught that we have obligations to the living and the dead and this was their way to be able help the family. And though afraid, they did their duty.

It is sad that we don’t talk about duties and obligations any more. Remembering them binds us more closely together as people and I think would eliminate the cruelty and even the nastiness that exists in this world.

We could see them crying on the altar. It was heartbreaking when Sam, her sister and cousin came up to eulogize Mr. Sid. Sam was unable to speak and returned to her pew wailing in her grief. Sophie and Jess cried with them and held each other’s hand to give themselves strength.

When the mass was over, I grabbed my Sophie and held her tight. I told her that I loved her and was so very proud of her for being so brave. While I waited for her to change out of her vestments, Fr. McCarthy approached me and told me I should be proud. That these kinds of funerals were the hardest. I assured him that I was proud.

When she came out, it was clear that she was drained. I went to the office and signed her out for the day. There was no chance that she was going to accomplish anything at school that day. She needed time to decompress. When she got home, she slept until dinner time and then straight back to bed.

I can only imagine what kind of shape Sam is in. It isn’t fair that a 13 year old girl should have to suffer this kind of loss. But life comes at us in its own order. Luckily, she has a class full of friends to help her.

Tired.

2009-11-30T23:23:00.002-06:00

Yes,

I know that my goal was to post everyday this month and I did not accomplish that, but I DID post alot more often than I had been previously.

Plus, having gotten a new job (part time) meant that my schedule was screwy and I am not used to being on my feet and working in a retail environment since 1984.

And then there was this weekend.

Kevin was off to help my cousin John with some business stuff. So, it was me with the girlies in the post Thanksgiving weekend. Except, Sophie still has a basketball tourney to finish up. Celia wants to run wild and we have a wake and funeral.

Of course. Both girls want cash which is short supply given that Kevin and I are still playing catch up financially this year and are not quite accustomed to the new pay schedule (assuming that I will be paid, as I have not yet filled out any paperwork whatsoever).

The aformentioned Celia wants to run wild which requires her to spend time after dark in a neighborhood park, thus becoming part of what Kevin and I lovingly refer to as NBT. NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. Was there ever an innocent reason to be in the Forest Preserve after dark? No there was not. And if you say otherwise, you are a liar. and your pants on fire. Big time.

She resents that I have GPSd her phone but I like to point out that I am anticipating a. where she will leave her phone next... and b. where to rescue her from, since she notoriously bad at directions which breaks the heart of her Geographer mother. Yeah. That is me.

Basketball sucked. we were in the "consolation" bracket and our opponent was half an hour late. But they did bring Samantha, the girl who lost her Dad this week a condolence card and before the abbreviated game started all the girls formed a circle in the middle of the court, held hands and prayed from Mr. Cid's soul.

Finally. In our last basketball game ever (we are so avoiding this crap in highschool) all the girls acted like sweet Catholic schoolgirls. I still tear up thinking about it.

Celia had "plans" which meant that I overheard her asking a friend if she could sleep over. As she sold me on this being a done deal plan-wise, I put the cabosh on the whole thing and earned her deepest enmity for the rest of the weekend. She smarted off enough at the basketball game to turn the heads of several mothers and Celia, as usual, tried to hold my transgressions over my head as if she could possibly blackmail me. Sadly, this child does not realize that when push comes to shove, I am ballsier than her and will not allow myself to be blackmailed by a child. So all she could do was call Kevin to "tell" on me. Yes. My children are "telling" on me. May she be punished with children like herself.

The wake on Sunday sucked. It, like all wakes, was terminally depressing. Plus the funeral home managed to book a large Phillipino family wake and a Hindu wake at the same time. When it came to sheer numbers, the Indians win. There were mourners jammed into the chapels (they booked three) and in every conceivable inch of the public space. It was insane.

I am currently worn out so will continue with funeral details tomorrow. Just know, that my Sophie is a tough chicklette who has a strong understanding of duty and kindness. God, I hope she learned that from me.

Sweet dreams November. You have been a bitch.

December? be kind.

This Friday Doesn't Seem So Black

2009-11-27T14:19:00.002-06:00

That is because Fun Daddy is dealing with girlies. I am not driving anyone to the mall or buying craft supplies.

Nope. I got sucked already this morning when I was talked into a trip to the Y for a bit of togetherness. Never mind that I spent all Tuesday and Wednesday on my feet up and down the steps at the new gig. I went with the recumbent bike. A half hour later, I was done. But still had to wait around for the rest of his "togetherness". Bah.

And he wants to run out later for hackepeter and beer. And I really don't want to sit there watching college football and drinking beer.

But for now?

I am sitting on my bed in my sunny room watching Deadliest Catch and typing away and running a load of laundry and no one is talking, yelling or begging me for anything.

This is paradise.

Brain Damage

2009-11-25T09:44:00.005-06:00

Yes, that is my theme today.

Celia has a friend from school that was in a car accident* and has hit her head. The girls were told that their friend's brain was bruised, a cerebral contusion. This is not good. Celia thinks that she is going to be able to visit C today in the hospital. But last we heard, she was in intensive care, so that seems unlikely... I doubt that they will be able to drop off their glitter ladened card either.

The fact is this kind of injury is considered a traumatic brain injury which can cause brain damage. It has certainly been quite a week, eh? I guess, I will give thanks tomorrow and everyday, in fact, that these things have NOT been happening to my girls.

Oh, and to continue with the brain damage theme, something on the lighter side (I think... sometimes, though these people just scare me). Here is Dana Perino, the former President's ~~SpokesLiar~~, um, Spokeswoman spewing a bit of revisionist history. Perhaps, she has been in a car crash too and lost all of her medium term memory. Or maybe she is on crack.

*the circumstances of the accident are still hazy... apparently this girl was ON the vehicle and not IN it when the accident occurred. I don't think that I want to know more details. Ugh.

Growing Up

2009-11-23T22:03:00.002-06:00

It is the kind of growing up that you wish you could keep your kids from....

Death

Sophie has had more than enough experience after the death of her Grandmother almost two years ago. But she has learned and has become kinder, I hope.

Today we found out that one of her classmates, a girl on her basketball and volleyball team lost her Dad after a year long-ish bout with cancer.

I got the notice this morning after I got back from my errands. I saw him less than two weeks ago. At basketball. Cheering on his girl. Samantha had no better fan. She was the apple of her Daddy's eye.

And now he is gone. And this young girl... and the friends that love her are lost. Being that they are so young, just 13 and 14, I weep for them. No one should have to face this kind of reality at 13. But life doesn't work that way. Sadly, it comes at you the way it comes.

Luckily, I know that Soph and her friends will be there for Samantha. Two girls were with her last night during that long vigil. And what I can tell you is that as a girl in a situation similar to Samantha's? I know that everything that her friends have done for her will be remembered. To the girls that stayed with her last night? She will never forget them, even if in the future they drift apart. They will be in her heart. For the basketball coach, who worked to distract Sam, from her sorrow over the last couple of weeks? You will never know what it means to forget the pain for a couple of hours. It is a blessing that not everyone gets. For the girls (and boy) from her class that are working so hard to surround Samantha with love? I know that when my brother died when I was an older (and hopefully wiser) girl, I took huge comfort from these friends. Friends who allowed me to be miserable and cry and also let me laugh and not feel guilty about it. Girls and boys who had never been to a wake and sucked it up for me.

I wish these kids didn't have to suffer or to learn about grief and loss. Unfortunately, this is beyond my control.

Death is a part of life.

Whether we want it or not.

To the Cid Family? I am so sorry, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you.

my banana bread seems so paltry an offering....

Weekend Plans

2009-11-21T11:33:00.003-06:00

I had plans.

No point making them, as girls always come up with some scenario that changes them.

As I was finishing breakfast (made by Kevin... Thanks!) Sophie came up and explained it was time to leave for basketball. Frankly, I thought the tournament was next weekend, but... whatever. So Kevin is off with that...

I am watching Celia try to make plans and is pleased that she has vetoed the plan that involved a party where a brawl is certain to break out. So, I have THAT going for me, I guess.

How Not Spend a Friday Night.

2009-11-20T19:20:00.002-06:00

Anyway at my house is really the answer.

Kevin is home and wants to blow off steam. Which means I am wrong. Everything I answer is wrong. If the girls have to be asked to do something they get to criticize how I asked it.

When I say that I am unsettled and having problems with noise? We put on Tom Petty at level 8. The volume isn't set to 11 so what do I have to complain about.

I should have a drink! Except at 10 I have to drive a pack of teenagers home.

Tired. Angry. Irritated.

Oh good. now he turned the music down to 7. Lucky me!!!!

News Chez Maman

2009-11-17T08:12:00.002-06:00

As I alluded to on the Facebook yesterday (can it really be an allusion without a reference to mythology or the Bible?) there have been changes at my house.

The central of these changes is that I am now a working woman again..

I had been looking for a full time job to make Kevin feel more at ease after a disastrous year in the economy. This however seemed ridiculous as no one here can really afford to have me gone full time and frankly, jobs in my old field either don't exist or don't recognize me as qualified anymore.

So, I decided to look for something part time in an area that I am interested in: wine.

And I have found it. I am working in a wine shop that specializes in Champagne!

I love it, because it meshes with my other blogging efforts (aka VinoVerve) and because... well, it is Champagne! really, what could be more fun than that?

There are still adjustments going on here, and hopefully they will smooth out so I don't end up feeling like I am burning my candle at three different ends (like in the old days)

Have I Mentioned?

2009-11-14T22:20:00.002-06:00

Teen parenting sucks.

It makes me tired and depressed.

That is all.

Until I can manage to drink enough to forget... which sadly, is an impossibility.

Since I am like an elephant... and never forget.

So What Is A Tropical Storm Like

2009-11-13T13:00:00.005-06:00

So it is windy and rains... no big deal, right?

I got this video from my cousin, John in Virginia Beach. He lives in the Sandbridge neighborhood of that city. Sandbridge is essentially a big long sandbar running along the coast. They are the beginning of the Outer Banks. During storms I worry about him, but he lives at the high point on the sandbar... and he is a sensible sort.

So what is a tropical storm like out there? Well sometimes weird stuff washes ashore....

oh, it is really windy too... But that part, I think you expected.

Both videos courtesy of my cousin, John Moriarty.

Veterans Day

2009-11-11T15:27:00.004-06:00

Today is a day of remembrance.

Doubly so at my house.

It is Veteran's Day which in the old days meant that you had to write and illustrate a copy of Flander's Fields. Kids don't seem to do that anymore, which I think kind of sucks. Yes. I know that it is a poem about the dead from Great War (WWI) and there are virtually no veterans left from that war, but I always thought the imagery was evocative. The kids also don't seem to have to learn to recite poetry either (but that is another story).

Here it is....

In Flanders fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved, and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

— Lt.-Col. John McCrae (1872 - 1918)

The other remembrance in our house today is for my late mother-in-law. Today was her birthday. I will have the girls call my father-in-law later. I am sure he has been to the cemetery today. Ironically, she is buried in his grave at Calverton National Cemetery.

Pack the Gym

2009-11-10T13:40:00.012-06:00

Despite Sunday's turmoil, I really did want Sophie to participate in Pack the Gym night. That is our equivalent of homecoming for basketball, except in our case it is the FINAL home game for the 8th graders. It is a big deal. There is a pep rally at school and a pep rally through all the games.

Sophie has played basketball all four of her eligible years. She may only play two minutes most of the time and has sometimes sat on the bench the entire game when coaches forget that they are NOT coaching the NBA, but she was always on the team. When her sister's team was short of players Sophie filled in. Last year, that meant that she was a permanent part of the her sister's 8th grade team. So she has played 6 seasons of basketball, when she has only been eligible for 4 (she played 8 seasons of volleyball too). She deserves the accolades that come with that evening.

I was trying to figure out how to smooth things over with her coach. And then a miracle occurred. My doorbell rang and there was the coach. I invited him in. We sat down and talked.
He told me that he needed her to play. That she is one of the tallest girls on the team and sometimes plays great ball. And she does. Sometimes. I explained that I am my child's advocate. And that I have seen her frustration when she shows up practice after practice to get no playing time. This isn't a travelling team (like she is joining for volleyball). This isn't high school. These are Catholic grade school girls learning about teamwork, some skills and good sportsmanship. And they can't learn that on a team of 8 if three of them aren't really allowed to play.

We agreed that things got out of hand. And we decided to let it go for our daughters.

And so Sophie got her night.

And she played spectacular ball that night and she played in three separate quarters. It was a rough game. It always is against this team. All of the girls looked alive and played well. But I was happy for my Sophie. She deserved a good night.

SNAPPED

2009-11-08T18:53:00.003-06:00

I have been going to basketball games this weekend as there was a tournament.

I have come to loathe these things. Because I have to get there early. I have to sit there and be engaged in the game on the off chance girl gets to play. Now these are not high school games where girls might be scouted by college coaches. These are Junior High Games.

There are 8 girls on the team, but five of them play over 90% of the available playing time. The other three (Sophie included) get to share the dribs that remain. Today Sophie played 90 seconds. Yesterday? She played 2 minutes. Why? Well the excuse this week is because she missed Wednesday's practice. And why did she miss Wednesday's practice? Because I didn't check my email from Tuesday afternoon until Wednesday afternoon. And if you don't make practice, you don't play.

Unless.....

You are part of the magic five.

Then those rules don't apply.

But for Sophie? They are ironclad. Which is humiliating for her. And a waste of fucking time, energy and effort for me. Because I am the one coordinating her running around. Driving her. Staying and cheering. Consoling her as she mourned at the end of the game.

It has become a sick routine.

And today I snapped.

I had her there 1/2 hour early like they are told. 10 minutes before the game starts the coach saunters in. And then Sophie sits there. As to M and E.

The team they played today was really, really good. And it was clear by half-time there was no hope of pulling this game out. Yet those five girls played and played. E got to go in for about 2 minutes in the 3rd quarter. Then M got two minutes in the 4. Celia who was with me, looked up at from her phone with two minutes to go in the 4th and said, "Has Sophie played at all?"

And naturally, the answer is no.

So at the end. As the girls are getting brow-beaten for their shitty performance, I walked up and asked if she wanted to go home. Their last game was going to happen in an hour. She said she wanted to stay and I pointed out that there really wasn't much chance of her playing. Which made the coach turn to me and say, "She doesn't come to practice, she doesn't play".

And that made me insane.

Because everyone knows that those rules don't apply to the "A" team. And I pointed that out. And then I called him an asshole for pushing that line of bull.

It was wrong and I am not proud of it. Worst, I embarrassed Sophie who is the innocent victim.

But it is ridiculous that this continues. That this man screams and swears at them during practices and then bullies them endlessly on the court only to leaving them sitting endlessly on the bench.

I am angry and done. This isn't character building. And Sophie staying is pointless.

Irony Is Dead

2009-11-06T10:36:00.004-06:00

I think I haven mentioned before that my Father is somewhat to the political right of Attila the Hun. So, it should come as no surprise that he and my Mother love Glenn Beck.

Personally, I think Beck is an over-the-top clown but I have been surprised and disappointed to find members of my family who believe his schtick. I would have thought the girls giggling when my father started talking about teabaggers would have been enough to shame him out of it, but alas, this has not been the case.

For the record, my Father is a "birther" too. The irony of this is amazing as my Dad was born in Honolulu, Oahu in March of 1942. That would be 17 years before Hawaii was a State in the United States. Which technically questions whether my Father is a natural born U.S. citizen. And no, Dad was not born on the Pearl Harbor Naval Base, so he doesn't have this loophole to cling to. Even better? the first time I went to Hawaii, I was tasked with ordering a copy of my Father's birth certificate which he lost over the years. When it arrived I got to see it. It looks identical to the one presented by President of the United States, except of course, it says, Territory of Hawaii instead of State of Hawaii. Yes, my father denies the authenticity of a birth certificate that is virtually identical TO HIS OWN.

Needless to say, I found Jon Stewart's takeoff on Beck's conspiracy insanity HI-Sterical.

Enjoy, in case you missed it.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The 11/3 Project

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Why do I smell bleach?

2009-11-05T09:34:00.003-06:00

I woke up thinking that it was some kind of sign.

A sign to wash the contagion from my sheets.

Then I got downstairs and discovered the mess. (please note the bottle of Chlorox in the background... assume that it was sideways and leaking when I found it.)

Apparently my sweet pooch who remains upstairs hiding in the bathroom at the moment decided to have a temper tantrum.

At least I am not having olfactory hallucinations...

Oh, and taking a cough and cold pill that lasts for 4 hours might get you TO sleep, but it won't keep you there. Tonight? I am going full metal Nyquil! I need to be functional again.

What is wrong with me

2009-11-04T21:13:00.002-06:00

Coughing

I keep coughing.

Not constantly. but just enough to wake me up 3-4 times a night. Just enough to interrupt my sleep.

And not the good kind that makes me think that I a making out with Stellan Skarsgaard, like I did over the weekend. Ahh... those were good dreams. though I am still trying to figure out why I went to Stellan when I have seen son, Alex more recently. Plus, I was thinking of going for Halloween with a TrueBlood theme (I wanted to be a maenad, a la Maryann.). More the reason that the thought should have been Alex.

sigh. Scandanavian men rock. at least at the moment.... Like I would really know...

Cough.

Ugh. How do I sleep tonight.

November 3

2009-11-03T21:36:00.001-06:00

And I am really tired. I was cooking breakfast before 7am. Getting yelled at by Kevin and the girls, listened to the dog whine and I am not done yet for the day.

Ugh.

I'm consistently inconsistent.

2009-11-03T08:52:00.002-06:00

Well there goes that idea.

Sure, 30 days, 30 posts... ooops!

So I forgot day two....

it must have been because I forgot to take my shot of kombucha which really seems to make my brain kick into gear.

I like this variety, though sometimes I make (grow) my own too. But then I am not squeamish about s

omething that looks like a placenta floating in my tea.

Could I manage?

2009-11-01T22:13:00.002-06:00

yeah,

I am writing here again...

but it is November and I feel a challenge...

Could I manage Nablopomo? 30 days? 30 posts...

We shall see... and I can't guarantee that there will be posts at nice normal times of the day. Like I try on VinoVerve. Yeah, you winos... you know you like it there...

Tomorrow I will discuss teen schedules or the lack thereof. 'Cuz this crap is driving me crazy.

Sweet dreams to you and wish me luck that I return to my dream where my lover was Stellan Skaarsgaard. Why? I love hot older Scandinavian dudes.

Tricks and Treats

2009-10-30T16:32:00.004-05:00

True Blood

Via HBO

What to wear for Halloween....

I had a plan but it was not approved of at this house...

I thought being a maenad would be rocking good fun even though I know how Maryann was portrayed didn't fit with my understanding of greek mythology. A couple of claws, a bloody heart and a toga sounded like a lot of fun to me. Sigh. No one lets me have any fun.

I saw this...

I believe I have been put off of Star Wars perhaps for life...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

LinkedIn Recommended Who?

2009-10-29T18:29:00.002-05:00

As I was pushing out my daily VinoVerve blog post on LinkedIn this morning looked over to the corner to where they list people you might already know.

Who did I see?

My brother-in-law. The one that I haven't seen in five years after my sister and her husband decided that they couldn't be part of our lives because we remind my dear sister, Margo of who she was before she married "above" her station. Now that she has become more gentile than the rest us, it was necessary for her to cast us off so the stink of our unacceptability doesn't offend our betters... i.e. his family.

Dying to know how we got potentially connected and wonder how many times a similar connection request has gone to him. Obviously he has ignored it. He can't bother to deal with riffraff such as me. No doubt he is irritated that LinkedIn doesn't have higher standards. Or just appalled that a woman would advertise her skills and accomplishments outside her domestic arena. But then, I am a hardened trull that way.

Love the link to his website. It seems perfect for him. Ridiculously boring and making it unclear what it is advertising. Good thing he doesn't have family that knows anything about websites. Someone might have told him that site doesn't say anything about the company or what it does.

Zap Went My Brain

2009-10-28T21:05:00.002-05:00

I am the product of a pack of highly strung women.

My Mother's Mother, Nanny was for many years on what she referred to as 'nerve' pills. I am not quite sure what they were but I am guessing some sort of "Mother's Helper". Additionally she is something of a hypochondriac. I think this has always been her way and I love her for it. I have heard stories of her coming home from work in the middle of the night and waking her teenagers screaming about chores not finished and making them do them in the middle of the night.

On the other side of the family is my Grandma. That side has generally seemed low key but they have always had quite a bit of drama and in her later years Grandma became a hypochondiac and was on 'heart pills'. Grandma was a bit younger than Nanny so I remember things happening to her (though in all fairness she will remain younger than Nanny as Grandma has passed and Nanny is 102) and I am pretty sure 'nerve' and 'heart' pills were pretty much the same things.

As kids many of my cousins and I would laugh at the level or neuroses in our gene pool and how were too clever and evolved to be as nutty as we saw our elders.

It should come to no surprise that I am what would best be referred to as "tense" which is just a more modern word for highstrung. So far, I have managed to avoid a full-fledged hypochondria (though Marguerite might argue that point). Still. I am well on my way to batshit crazy same as the rest of the elders that we laughed about years ago. Luckily, I feel secure knowing that there are some of the cuz's out there suffering the same thing.

The good news is we haven't been put on tranquilizers which is old school for the anxiety ridden. We have a much classier set of drugs that allow us to be mellow without addicted. Kind of anyway. I thought that the sign of addiction was withdrawal. The trick I learned this week was my particular brand of mellow has withdrawal symptoms which I found out about involuntarily when I went to pick up my new prescription and found that it hadn't been renewed though I am still a couple of months away from being due to see the doc again.

Ok. I did what you are supposed to do under those circumstances and the pharmacy faxed in a request for refill and I waited.

And then I learned to my chagrin these drugs have a half-life. Like plutonium (though not as long). And when you go off the drugs without working yourself down, your brain turns on you. You are suddenly overwhelmed with anxiety. That I expected and was prepared for. What I wasn't? The vivid, crazy, scary dreams. That was fun. And then Monday, the kicker set in: Brain Zaps. As best as I can describe, it is like a DJ scratching an album inside your head. Every 1-4 minutes and THAT made me crazy.

How long did I stay like this? Until about 4:00 pm. This afternoon. Yup. I have been half-nuts that long.

Currently, I am back to mellow. So I would like to thank Rosario and her staff at my local Osco Pharmacy for their repeated calls to my Dr.'s office and being sweet to me even though I must have seemed nutzzzz. They seemed to understand what was happening in my head when I couldn't quite explain it to Fun Daddy, the teens and even my Doctor.

AHIP Lobbyist To GOP: Don't Give "Comfort To The Enemy" On Health Care

2009-10-22T10:32:00.001-05:00

And by "enemy" AHIP means the "American people"?
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Insurers Mount Attack Against Health Reform

2009-10-12T16:14:00.001-05:00

Ok. I want universal Medicare. Particularly after hearing that insurance company denied coverage to a 4month old baby because he grew to fast for statistics. jeez.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Obama's Nobel Prize Inspires Conservative Outrage And Confusion

2009-10-09T10:34:00.001-05:00

What happened to the conservatives of the last decade who believed that you were either with America or against it? Oh, that's right... they are choking on their sour grapes
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Rep. Kirk Stocks Town Hall With Supporters, Claims Only 7 Million Uninsured Americans

2009-08-28T19:05:00.001-05:00

Charming. I am going to guess this is the system that he envisions for the rest of government. He is a real man of the people... his people, that is... but a statesman? Not so much.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Dramatic Iceberg Collapses (VIDEO)

2009-08-27T14:15:00.001-05:00

Should we be concerned that a guy who loves nature enough to get up close to it has so little understanding of his planet that he thinks that icebergs are attached to the ocean floor.

Iceberg in ocean = ice cube in your Big Gulp. Yes, they will flip under the right circumstances...
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Cinnamon Wedge

2009-08-26T11:53:00.001-05:00

Silly pooch

What Planet Do You Spend Most of Your Time On?

2009-08-19T07:58:00.004-05:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Congressman Frank. I end up spending alot of time arguing with dining room tables as my father is somewhat to the right of Attila the Hun. Frankly, I am a bit surprised to not see a defaced picture of the President over their mantle.

For any of this to make sense you have to look at this:

How do you know

2009-08-12T23:25:00.002-05:00

How do you know when it is time to bag the whole thing. The fight isn't worth it. It is better to make a dramatic change.

I have been on the edge for a while. And I am teetering.

I want out. To run away. Give up on this life I have created here. Start over.

Bumming Myself Out.

2009-08-03T17:48:00.002-05:00

I noticed that all the cool kids on the Twitter are MadMen'ing themselves... creating an avatar that makes them look like a character from the AMC show Mad Men....

So, I went ahead a made one.. and this is what I got.

That is ridiculously depressing...

Here is a picture of my Grandmother from the 1950s...

Do you see the resemblance?

sigh. me too.

Happy 4th!

2009-07-03T11:00:00.003-05:00

I know. I have been a pitiful blogger lately...

Let's just say, stuff is crazy busy around here... and unemployment sucks.

Also teenagers on summer vacay.. stink too.

But Muppets? They make me smile. And I do the Swedish Chef. and Beaker.

So if my favorite Texas Super Hero Princesses are watching? Have a good 4th of July in Norway, girlies! Hopefully you will have some fireworks!

6 Reasons to Eat Local Food This 4th of July

2009-07-02T17:05:00.001-05:00

We should remember to drink local too! There are wineries in all 50 states in the US. Too often local wine is considered "inferior" to imported products. Don't be a wine snob! Support your local winery and brewery for the 4th!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Spicy or Regular

2009-06-22T14:07:00.001-05:00

I say spicy!

Baby Goods Fail

2009-06-22T09:47:00.001-05:00

http://failblog.org/2009/06/18/baby-goods-fail/

Maybe this is the arguing teenagers "WIN"

Sent from my iPhone

2009-06-02T20:03:00.000-05:00

Sports banquet

2009-06-02T20:01:00.000-05:00

Cool Roofs Protect the Environment and Save Money

2009-05-30T12:53:00.001-05:00

As far north as Chicago.... That is where I live.

The myth that cool roofs are detrimental is untrue. The data from Lawrence Berkley National Labs shows that.

Plus, in the case of my roof, there is no ice damming on a roof when the snow slides off within 72 hours of snowfall.
About Energy
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Cool Roofs Protect the Environment and Save Money

2009-05-30T12:36:00.001-05:00

Why is it still difficult to get information through to the public? That's easy. As a person who helped write Chicago Energy Code which has roof reflectivity requirements & an individual who rehabbed her house adding green elements I can tell you that building professionals need to be convinced that green changes are cost efficient and aesthetically pleasing. And cost of operation should be considered when building.

You needn't have a snow white roof to green your roof. I have a standing seam metal roof on my house that is champagne. The undercoating of the roofing material helps reflect solar energy off the roof. Because it is metal, the roof cools down very quickly after the sun sets. My air conditioning costs have dropped dramatically. I had to fight my builder for that roof. He thought I was crazy to pay more for a roof to save on the operations side. I had that same fight about my bamboo floors which take 5 years v. 20 to be grown & my on demand hot water heater.

Chicago has been a leader when it comes to the greening of the urban environment. Our City Hall rooftop garden is a model of retrofitting existing structures. Our Center For Green Technology was the first LEED Platinum building in the State of Illinois. Working in cooperation with ComEd, solar panels were installed on area museums & schools. I was proud to be part of those programs & continue to advocate for greener options.
About Energy
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Pool Hall Sign Fail

2009-05-29T23:21:00.001-05:00

http://failblog.org/2009/05/29/pool-hall-sign-fail/

I pass this sign all the time. It is a pool hall. I think that is a
win for a pool hall.

Sent from my iPhone

Stuck in traffic at the Palwaukee Airport

2009-05-21T16:50:00.000-05:00

WHAT YOUR PARENTS DO

2009-05-17T10:39:00.001-05:00

http://roflrazzi.com/2009/05/13/celebrity-pictures-rocky-horror-cast-parents-do/

Sent from my iPhone

Volleyball night in America

2009-05-07T19:40:00.000-05:00

2009-05-04T12:41:00.001-05:00

OMG! It finally looks like a house!

2009-05-04T12:37:00.001-05:00

You're Mr. Stevens?

2009-04-28T08:46:00.003-05:00

Now I will be listening to Eddie Izzard all day.

Hyde Park

2009-04-19T17:54:00.000-05:00

Whizzing past President Obama's house.

Oops

2009-04-16T11:54:00.000-05:00

Cinnamon has settled in and thinks she is going with us. Sorry pooch.
Not this time.

Still

2009-04-13T22:23:00.000-05:00

She is STILL freaking out and looking at that scale. You know, the one
that rides up and down. Silly pooch.

Cinnamon goes to the vet

2009-04-13T22:17:00.000-05:00

She is shaking so much, I thought she would fall down. Poor baby.

Today Is Your Birthday!

2009-04-08T17:06:00.003-05:00

What do:

Robin Wright Penn,
Izzy Stradlin
Tom DeLay
Vivienne Westwood, and
Kofi Annan

all have in common?

They share a birthday with my mother. I was surprised to learn that Aunt Maggie's mother almost shares my mother's birthday... Instead of April 8? She is April 7. So, belated Happy Birthday Mrs. Barrett! This explains so much our reactions to our mothers, at I think so...

Anyway... I went searching for my Mom's horoscope for the year. Color me freaked out. I mean, the ultimate manager is told to become a manager? Oy.

Horoscopes for April 08, 2009

By Linda Black | Tribune Media Services

April 8, 2009
Today's birthday (April 8). You've learned to get by on your own. This year, expand your influence. Become a manager. That skill expands your prospects enormously. What's more, it's fun.

(oh. dear. god. help. us. all.)

Aries (March 21-April 19): Today is an 8. An expert can help you solve the mystery, finally. Ask around and you'll find the perfect person for the job.

Happy Birthday Mom!

This little piggy

2009-03-30T09:56:00.001-05:00

Hurts

My project for tomorrow

2009-03-27T19:03:00.001-05:00

More crazies in the family

2009-03-25T12:10:00.005-05:00

Just because I blocked my cousin Bobby's, Aunt Jeannette's and father's emails doesn't mean that their aren't additional wackos hiding in the woodwork.

The latest?

Subj: Fw: A must read Muslim belief

MUSLIM BELIEF

This is a true story and the author, Rick Mathes, is a well-known leader in prison ministry (This much is true).

The man who walks with God always gets to his destination. If you have a pulse you ha ve a purpose.

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States , especially in the minority races!!! (Quel horreur! The browns are breeding and converting! Whatever shall we do?)

Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my State prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their beliefs.

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam (According to Snopes.com there was no Imam present, just some prisoner pressed into service. So probably not a well educated guy and stupid enough to end up in the clink on top of things.) had to say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.

When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: 'Please, Correct me if I'm wrong,but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?'

There was no disagreement with my statements and,without hesitation, he Replied, 'Non-believers!'

I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a20place in heaven. Is that correct?'

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a Little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.'

He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'

I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul Commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!'

The Imam was speechless!

I continued, 'I also have problem with being your friend when you and your Brother Clerics are telling your followers to kill me! Let me ask you a question:

Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to Heaven and He wants you to be there with me?'

You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame. Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the Diversification' training Seminar were not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the Islamic Imam , and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.

In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. To elect the President! I think everyone in the U.S. And Canada should be required to read this, but with the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely=2 0publicized,unless each of us send this along. This is your chance to make adifference...

Soon, I will have no contact with the relatives left!

I love that they make know effort to even begin to understand what Islam is about. First off, Muslims don't ALL believe that all non-believers should be put to the sword. Are there radicals that do? Yes, but then the guy who blew up bombs at the Olympics in Atlanta was a radical Christian. Do you want to be judge by that asshole?

Second off, while Christians were torturing Muslims, Jews, homosexuals, Protestants and learned women (or as the Church preferred to refer to them, Witches) in Spain and other countries in Europe under the guise of the Inquisition, Muslim cities peacefully allowed non-believers to live in separate quarters of their cities. This included Jews and Christians who were consider "People of the Book" as the Muslims claim both the Old and New Testement of the Bible as part of their religious heritage.

Oh, and I wonder what Mr. Mathes unleashed on the Catholics? Did he prove that we are baby-eating papists like so many holier-than-thou "Christians" believe?

So folks, you can take your ignorance and your prejudice and peddle your bullshit elsewhere.

So, unfortunately, I will be blocking Tonette now too.

Alone.

2009-03-24T00:03:00.005-05:00

Well, today is day three with just the kids.

In other words, I am alone except for periods of irritation. But really alone.

Sophie went to her friend's house so they could walk around and talk to and be seen by boys. I know that this is an essential part of development. I saw it on Desmond Morris's The Naked Ape. And yes, I watch shows made by ethologists, which is really a fancy word for "how animals fuck". Oh, and needless to say, she arrived home late. I hate this stage.

Celia seems to be coming a human again. She seems to have finally learned the Golden Rule. Don't fuck with me? I won't fuck with you. It makes life more pleasant. But still, as soon as she can reasonably make her excuses and be done with me, she is.

This all sucks. But more so this week as it is just me and them. Combined with a day totally alone and over thinking means that I am in the midst of an existential crisis. What do I want to be when I grow up and is that even conceivable at this point.

Am I kidding myself that I can find some way to eke a living out of writing/blogging. Yes, I was invited to participate in the Chicago Tribune Printer's Row Lit Fair (Previously the Printer's Row Book Fair) and to sit on the Good Eating Panel. But I haven't heard back so part of me thinks that they are reconsidering the invitation.

So here I am, alone... the girls are in bed. They have been ignoring me for hours. This makes me think about my future. And part of this is being encouraged by my finding that my sweet pooch has dug into the garbage can for used feminine products and eaten them. As far as I am concerned this is just her first step to our final encounter. When I drop dead and she eats me. Or as Jim suggested, she would just eat my face. Though it was comforting to hear that he had has the same irrational fear. Must be something someone in Lockport taught us.

So. forgive me as I quietly freak the fuck out. No doubt I will be better tomorrow. or later today most likely.

sigh.

What is normal? - The Sandwich Edition.

2009-03-23T00:03:00.003-05:00

I find myself unable to tell normal eating versus abnormal.

I do know that I have had more arguments about sandwiches than a normal person should.

I remember these arguments starting when I was little. I never made a sandwich correctly. Two pieces of white bread (hey, it was the '70s) a slice of ham, a piece of cheese and half a squirt of yellow mustard (the only kind we ever ate. And by the way, I still love it, even if I have an appreciation for other more frou frou moustards).

Eventually I was taught the "proper" way to make my sandwich. Two slices of bread (wheat bread is now exceptable), a thin coating of butter that must evenly cover the entire inside piece of each piece of bread. Next comes a slice of meat on each slice of bread. From there it gets tricky. If you eating a meat with cheese then only mustard can be applied. If you are using mayo? Then lettuce and tomato may be applied along with salt and pepper.

I have come to realize that this is an overly thought out sandwich philosophy. But that is what I was taught. There are expections for wet sandwiches, such as the sloppy joe and Buffalo classic beef on weck. These sandwichs are designed to be sloppy wet and the roast beef can have horseradish on it (which I never did. I would have preferred ketchup if given a choice. and I rarely was. The only sandwich that ketchup was acceptable for (other than hamburgers which frankly I classify separately) was fried balogna which was the bain of my existence as a child as it was so different from what I considered normal. It was thick and curled up and grotesque and oh my mother loved it. So refusing it was not an option).

The Neuman sandwich methodology is polar opposite of the Millers. Giant junks of dry bread are required. In fact, we laugh about how he comes from a people who enjoy bone dry sandwiches. Two inches of hard dry roll, a whisper of condiment and a wafer thin piece of meat and or cheese. Anything else is frowned upon. And I have been frowned upon plenty. "Butter on the bread?! Why would you do that?" Again, I am wrong.

I remember having lunch with Amy once. Back in the days when we worked together at Resource Applications. I opened my sandwich that had been made by Kevin that morning and I found that it was made the Neuman way. Amy laughted at me. While she agreed that the Neuman method seemed overly severe she had never heard of the "correct" way to make a sandwich.

And that was the first time I realized that I had weird sandwich issues.

Warning for family members reading my blog

2009-03-22T00:51:00.003-05:00

I don't think alot of you do read this, but occasionally stuff gets back to my mom and she gets upset.

My intent in writing this has never been about anyone other me. What I encounter, what I think about it and how I react about it. Blogging is an art, but it is a personal art. I have gotten so used to no one in the family reading it that I have disregarded the possibility that you are there. Don't take this personally, but this is as much as a way for me to deal with my personal stresses as it is a way for me to communicate with you.

To that end, I will warn you that the therapist that Kevin and I see has suggested that I have weird gunked up food messages that I should work out. And by writing them down, it requires me to put my head into it. I laughed and said, this is perfect, as I am always in need of blog fodder.

Our therapist knows what I do. That I blog. She thinks is good. and it gives me the ability to work this stuff out.

We and she understand that what I write is often overly colored by what my own memory and experiences are. Memory is imperfect. My memory is imperfect. And feelings that overwhelming can color your perception.

It is possible that at some point I will say something in my future blog posts that you will disagree with. That you think that I am being unfair about. Bear with me. This is about me. And I don't mean to upset any of you. I love you. But I need to work this stuff out.

For once in my life I am trying to establish healthy boundaries for myself.

Take a lap, missy

2009-03-13T11:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was my solo debut as a volleyball coach.

Yes, this is ridiculous. I never played competitive volleyball. I only played in highschool gym class. And I sucked at it. Nevertheless, the 8th graders needed a coach or as it turned out, an assistant coach so I stepped up.

Celia decided to behave herself.

Sophie did not.

I did make suggestions to all of the girls. Sophie took hers badly. Her problem? She wants the ball to come right to her. I get that. That is my idea of a perfect tennis game. Just volleying back and forth. Getting a bit of exercise but not killing yourself. But that isn't competitive. And this volleyball league is. So nut up and move your feet. While working on a drill to practice hitting balls off the net Sophie accused me of hitting her in the face on purpose. (like I would bother with the net at all if that was my aim?) I suggested that she could have taken a step backwards. The roar was deafening. She yelled at me and fussed. The other girls were embarrassed.

So I made her take a lap.

I guess I am officially a coach now. I think I need a whistle!