Sunday, January 29, 2006

When is this going to end?

Got another stupid email from my Pere about how awful Hillary Clinton is...

I wish he would get over himself about this... Plus, he keeps sending the same damn lame jokes over and over again.

So I am posting his stupid joke and my response in the hopes that he takes note that this particular joke has come through my mailbox waaay to many times...

in January 2009
Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her First night in the White House. She has waited so long..........
The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."

AND now, my response:

Very funny... of course, our founding fathers would be completely unelectable these days... In fact you could say that they had as many problems as Hillary...

George Washington:

  • worked towards the Treaty of Tripoli to be written that states:
Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Mussulmen; and, as the said States never entered into any war, or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties, that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.
By the way, that treaty was read aloud on the floor of the Senate, the treaty was unanimously ratified, without debate or dissension, and signed into law in 1797 by President John Adams. (oops I guess that makes Adams unelectable too)
Add to this, Washington had:

  • Bad teeth
  • Was boring as all hell
  • owned slaves
  • Rumored to have had syphillis (I doubt he got that from Martha)

Thomas Jefferson:

  • Jefferson wrote a book rejecting the divinity of Jesus, The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth
  • "the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father, in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter" (the Goddess Minerva sprang forth, fully grown, from Jupiter's brain). Thomas Jefferson in a letter to John Adams.. (ooops there is that Bad Seed, John Adams again)
  • Owned slaves
  • Had sex with some of them (hmmm if slaves weren't fully human, would screwing one be bestiality? Oh dear what a slippery slope!)
  • Had an affair with a married women (Maria Cosway) while acting as U.S. Minister to France (horrors! We know that government officials are not allowed indiscretions)

Abraham Lincoln:

  • Not formally educated (What? No Harvard legacy?)
  • Had a liquor license and sold whiskey in Illinois...
  • Slept with men and was possibly gay
  • Married a woman considered by some to be insane
  • Switched political parties... started his career as a Whig (oh NO! He's a flip-flopper)
  • Suffered from depression so severe that his friends feared he would commit suicide (He probably would have something in common with John McCain)
  • His second inaugural speech includes the line, "With malice toward none; with charity for all;" (clearly identifies him as soft on crime, terrorism, the decline of American culture, etc, etc.)

I guess ultimately, Hillary would fit right in with that crowd... Oh the horrors!

Oh, and the Rev. Bird Wilson, an Episcopal minister and historian, lamented in an 1831 sermon, "The founders of our nation were nearly all Infidels."

Sadly, this will not make a whit of difference to him or anyone else on his mailing list (that I also sent this too).

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