I wouldn't want this job!

Subject: Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Ma, Mama,
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa,PaPa

JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities!  Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from
zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously
sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must
have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing
of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume
final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining,
constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can
ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment
is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it
and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no
paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless
opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards
right. With the greatest rewards of all of becoming a Grand Parent and be able
to limit the responsibilities and still receive all the benefits.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they
do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.

Yes... this sounds like my life...