Cut Off

Ever have that feeling at the end of the day where you just want a cocktail?

If you are like me and have dealt with the kids and the dog and summer vacation... it happens.

Except...

I am here.

Long Island.

With the In-Laws.

That means that other than the warm wine in the garage (blech) there is no other option. Now you might be thinking.. Hmmm, the In-Laws don't drink the hard stuff.. and that is where you are wrong. W-R-O-N-G.

Oh, they drink the sweet fruit of destiller... I just can't figure out where they hide it. Why?

Well, over the years, my In-Laws (can we dispense with this and just use ILs? Thanks) have over the years developed a complex system for controlling what she drinks. It involves him hiding the liquor. Her drinking the liquor as dispensed to her. Occasionally the liquor is brought out of hiding for a brief period so that all may partake... Today was not the day.

I searched. Oh, how I searched... I had a hankering for a Cosmopolitan... and it was denied... yes, I was able to drink warm wine... it just wasn't the same. Fun Daddy even searched for me... He used all the cunning and know-how from his youth to search out the sweet, sweet juice of the common potato...To no avail.

As I searched, Imelda noticed and tried to assist me.. that is when I knew that warm wine was my fate.



Now, I have an evil streak about me... My FIL has a need to keep every part of an appliance in its original box... I don't have a picture now, but I will take one of his desk tomorrow so you see what I mean... We got them one of those super wine bottle openers.. it came with a cutter for the foil cap, an extra de-corker and and plastic cap to cover/protect the tip of the decorker. Nice gift, eh? Yeah, we thought so...

Just watch the whole set come out and unpacked in its anal-retentive glory.. Oh, did I mention that the foam sheet to protect the set from bumping during transit is still included? Surprised? I am not... this is the deal here.

I returned the foam to the box. I returned (ok, never touched) the foil cap cutter (WHY? ITS FUCKING BROKEN... has been for months... normal people toss that shit.. not here, baby! They are waiting until a special rebuild-it adhesive is discovered or... Hermione Granger visits and uses one of her special Reparo charms. We will see what happens first). I did remove the extra screw to the Screwpull and separate it from the box...

and finally...

for extra shits and giggles...

I removed the plastic screw protector and have hidden it in the kitchen... Not gonna say where. Just in case one of you is a narc.. Nothing personal, but this is all the revenge I get...

There is another option of course.

I could start syphoning off my MILs supply.. I wonder how things will get then... Oh well, a dream for another day.