I knew that was too good to last

And it was.

It hasn't horrible though.

Yes, I am still fighting for the heart and soul of my Angel. And yes, she is fighting to be her own individual, even if she has to be self destructive to achieve it. Why didn't someone explain to me earlier that puberty was toxic? It seems to have taken an otherwise intelligent child and turned her into a lunatic.

The therapist says to keep at it an hold firm because my Angel is a strong willed girl. To which I can only reply: DUH!

Jeez, like this information is new to me..

When my Angel was born five weeks early they took her to the NICU. By the time that I got down there the nurses had already nicknamed her: The Wild Woman.

See, unlike most premies who just lay there very still occasionally mewling like sickly kittens, my Angel would yell and fight everytime someone touched her in a way she didn't like. And she didn't like any extra noise. When the nurses and doctors washed their hands as they moved from patient to patient they would drop the the paper towels into the trashcan. The step on kind... where the lid lifts and falls when the peddle is released. The sound of trashcans slamming shut was a pretty typical sound in that environment. But the Angel refused to accept it. And reacted negatively everytime she heard that can slam shut.

Yeah, I know she is strong willed. She was born with it.

And ironically this is a child who thinks that I don't recognize her as an individual.

sigh.