What a fucking lousy day

I buried my mother-in-law...

my mother freaked out on me

I got bitched out for being fat

my husband is pissed at my because he is embarrassed about the arguments

Which I didn't want to have

But mom turned the argument from me being tired today into how I don't really care

Because her concern is that if I die, she will have to live alone.

My father is irritated because he is just "worried" about me

The kids want a little peace

My father in law prolly hates me more than ever....

Thank god I drove all night, worked my ass off this week and worked on getting the kids ready for the funeral, prepared them for doing the readings at church, helped everybody adjust, forced my husband do the eulogy for his mother...organized the mass, organized the luncheon... because in the end? It is all so simple.

I am a disappointment.

Because I am fat.

and my husband? Pissed at me because I am upset and because I somehow let the argument happen. Was I able to avoid it? Sure. I should have been all things to all people.

To be everything and nothing. Because I, me? I am not good enough. Not even for my own mother.