Sunday, July 20, 2008

I think that I miss you the most

Aunt Maggie has just shut the door to her townhouse and already I am crying. I miss her. And I am not even a good enough friend to deserve it.

I don’t call lately. I don’t email. But it isn’t her. It is all of them. Aunt Amy, Auntie Noranne, Richard and Charles. I feel overwhelmed. So my first instinct is to close down. I don’t talk to anyone. This mother of teenager thing sucks. And I am the only one there. Everyone else’s kids are younger (for those of you that have them). I feel lost. I don’t have a community. Where the hell am I going to find a community? Other insane University of Chicago grads with overly clever. Underlywise young teenagers? Other women raising their children Catholic when they are unsure. We crazy gals who find our marriages falling apart and not sure where to go or what to do?

What does that Venn diagram look like? How many of us are there? And what is our geographical distribution? What is the size of my Chicago subset? 3? And how do we reach each other? Particularly since we don’t communicate? At least not like normal people.

At least Aunt Maggie and Aunt Amy and Auntie Noranne read.

So they know I love them.

Even if I can’t say it

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