Sophfille Descartes

I thought that all my problems would be solved when the girls developed enough to use logic. The experts always say that at 5 a child is capable of using logic. What they don't tell you is that they 1. can't be relied on using it and 2. might twist it into an unrecognizable form.

To that end, I introduce to you, Sophfille Descartes.

No, she is not the reincarnation of the brilliant french philosopher who used logic to explain the existence of God with his declaration, "cogito ergo sum" ("I think, therefore I am" for those of you who didn't taken Western Civ).

Instead, she confounds me with her personal ideology of "cogito ergo ems" which translates loosely to "I think, therefore you take me shopping".

Clearly, this must be nipped in the bud. She claims to have not nearly enough clothes. And to a certain extent, this is true. But only because she decided to "modify" her wardrobe to fit her own personal style, i.e., she cut off all her pants and skirts to make the sluttiest clothes ever conceived of. Oh, yeah! Let me run right out and give you more to destroy when you decide it isn't cool enough.

I am hoping that she doesn't drive me insane with her whining, "MMMOOOOOOOMMM, you PROMISED!" I didn't promise to take her shopping... I just told her to shovel two sacks of trash out of that pit that she calls a bedroom. She added the conditions and assumed that I agreed.

I realize that even explaining myself may indicate that the ship containing my sanity has long since sailed to an unknown destination, far, far away.