Voulez Vous Baissez Mon Ane

Well... My feeling of euphoria didn't last long. Yup I got bitch-slapped down for performing my lunch mom duties that I do on Tuesdays... on Friday.

Here's how it happened:

The Angel sits at a lunch table with her friends Frieda and Drina and two other girls, Jacey and Vida. She is less friendly with these girls but they have always managed to generally get along but they do snipe at each other.

Last week she called me over to her table to tell me that she is teaching Frieda to speak French. (She and Drina are already working on teaching each other their languages). "Lovely," says I. "Any thing in particular?" Well my clever minx has taught this girl an infamous phrase. Any one a person my age would know the meaning of... Voulez vous couchez avec moi, c'est soir. Damn that Christina Aguilera! Did did we really need to reintroduce that song again? Plus, she did a crappy version...

But I digress.

So I explain to the girls that this is NOT, I repeat, NOT a phrase for them to go around repeating randomly as that is NOT appropriate for young girls... Pourquoi? les filles ma demandent? Well... the song is about prostitutes in New Orleans... 'Nuff said? Yup. It was.

As I walked away, my Angel wanted to let me know that she was upset. That Jacey and Vita were being mean to her. Unfortunately she did this in French. I answered her in French because at this point I was irritated with her.. So I told her to knock it off and to be nice to everyone.

And ironically, this is what got me into trouble. As one of those other girls told her mother that I was calling her names in French and her mother, for some reason believed this ludicrous supposition and called school to complain.

Here is a rule of thumb... listen to what you are going to say aloud before you do it... If it sounds ridiculous, like, for instance, "The lunch lady is calling my daughter names in French" please, please... Pour l'amour de Dieu et tout qui est saint... Refrain from saying it.

You know why?

Because I am going to get really pissed off when I am questioned about the incident and am forced to recount the entire situation. And possibly I am going to skip going to the next lunch lady duty time. And do you know what happens then? Then the kids can't go outside. So remember that you fou chienne!

Thank you for your time.

Good night.