I have become the asshole again.
And I slip into so easily that I don't even see it coming.
I stayed home to work this afternoon while the penises took the virgins out for lunch. I say this in this way because the men in this family seem to believe that young girls are possessed of some magic that makes them immune from the need to disagree with them.
Mostly because they are in their own world.
I fucking wish I was so lucky.
I of course stayed behind, made numerous posts on various blogs. (see here, gastronerds, and vinoverve). Then they all came home. They unpacked their findings, i.e. mussels and tuna, and then with a quick change of clothes they were off again. At least the penises were. See, they needed to head out the Southampton Public House. because spending time with the girls was too much for them. BUT, oh! by the way? Would I consider how to cook these dinner choices? Aunt Elfie was coming over for dinner... She would call to let us know if she could join us. They would be home early! Swear to God! and off they fucking went.
I had one goal this afternoon. To get in a mile swim. I am sorry to say that I am not a triathelete. So for me? A mile in takes a while. Over an hour.
Nine laps short of my mile? Elfie shows up. I scurry out of the pool. Take my shower and let my lords and masters know that their guest has arrived. Then I had downstairs to prepare.
I cooks a sauce to steam muscles. Lemon, olive oil, herbs, shallots and wine. I make a ratatouille that can be tossed over pasta. A sauce for the tuna. Dill and Dijon. I cook and chat. and eventually these gits show up.
I finish cooking the appetizer. I get less then enthusiastic response from it. Why? Well the guys didn't consider their audience. Neither the girls, nor Fun Daddy's aunt enjoy mussels. Ok. But we did... which I thought were delicious... but then we get to the meal's intermission.
FD has to get the grill going to cook the tuna. Seems easy enough but for some reason there is trouble. And in the midst of it FD's cousin, who is Aunt Elfie's son calls. Drunk. again.
See, we tried to arrange for those girls to be able to visit my girls. But as Elfie has no car to fetch them, and FD's cousin (FUP) doesn't have any other excuse i.e. work to be out here... They couldn't justifiy the girls coming out.
Except now. FUP girlfriend, Skanky (clearly I have no opinion about her) is looking for someone to blame... so as we are getting ready for dinner FUP calls to drunk dial bitch his mother. Charming, eh?
I send the girls outside so they can avoid the drama and to limit Aunt Elfie's embarrassment. I thought I was being nice. I am sure that it will turn out NOT to be the case. and we eventually get through dinner.
But in our post dinner, post-Elfie afterglow I needed to be lectured.
The lecture is a morality play akin to A Tale of Two Cities. FUPs behavior tonight is not about a drug induced, alcoholic acting out at his more.. but really the result of good parenting vs. bad. See this is the result of not stressing EDUCATION with your child. My ILs stressed education with FD. FIL believes that pushing work and money was what FUP was taught.
Now let me say, that as clever and elitist as I am percieved to be? I have never felt that hard work was something to be sneezed at. Hard work was part of the discipline that I was taught as a child. So, education or not, hard work is valuable.
And here is my mistake.
I disagreed with my Father In Law. I suggested that the error may NOT have been with Aunt Elfie. But instead lay with FD's Fucked UP cousin. See, I have a cousin. He was raised right. Maybe not the way MY parents would have done it. But no one could argue that there was neglect or that the lad was led the wrong way. But for a while? The long way, he did go. He ended up in the Clink. was released on Parole. And FUCKED IT UP. He was 30.
Is this a character flaw on his mother's part? NO.
My cousin fucked his own life up. Twice.
Is it the fault of FUP's mother that he went wrong? NO.
She raised him to believe in work. Maybe work over education but LOTS of people make that choice.
After he was 18? His fucked up life was in his hands.
He had examples in the family to learn from. FIL and FD to name a couple. Instead. He got wasted, lost a lot of jobs, went to rehab, found a skank, knocked her up a couple of times, broke up with her alot, but got back together with her one time more and then started drunk dialing his mother to blame her for his trouble.
Am I saying that it is easy to change your life?
But it IS in your hands.
Saying that to retards who want to blame someone's mother for the trouble.
If they only knew how far that they might be pushing me.
Because I can certainly end the cycle.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I have become the asshole again.