Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mr. Milano would be so pleased.

Ironically, it was my 7th grade Algebra teacher that first taught me about Greek Philosophy. In particular, Socrates. Socrates was the center of Mr. Milano's life. Mr. Milano taught us about how Socrates knew all about slope. Ok, "Zero Slope, Baby!" How not to tick off the government so they make you drink Hemlock (trick: don't poke holes in religion... it gets you labeled a trouble maker) and the humility of a genius.

So, though I am a lesser being then Socrates or Mr. Milano, I will echo their basic philosophy. The more I know, the more I realize that I don't know.

Naturally, part of the reason that I realize that I don't know anything is because I have daughters. And they tell me. All the time.

Here are some of the things that I learned today:

I don't know how to make costumes for a kid written production of the Pit and the Pendulum. My black coat and a couple of sheets would NEVER work as clerical robes. Only store bought costumes will do when you are putting on 7 minute plays based on stories by Edgar Alan Poe. Cuz he was a creme of the crop bon vivant!

I don't know how hard it is for teenagers today. Why? I was a nerd and had no life. Lillith is popular and therefore suffers more than I ever did when jr. high girls are bitchy. Why? The higher the heights, the lower the lows.... Clearly, I was spared being an unpopular nerd.

My friends all hate me because I am negative. My negativity has nothing to do girls complaining endlessly. I am just difficult.

Girls search the house thoroughly whenever they lose something. There is NEVER a hidden corner or cubbyhole where they stuff dirty socks or winter coats. Clearly any missing item must be replaced immediately and at the greatest expense possible.

I sass back at my daughters all the time and they are losing their temper with me giving them attitude. They are, in fact, DONE! with me.

My expectations are too high. Cleaning up after themselves, getting decent grades and a couple of household chores should not be expected of them as a requirement for privileges and/or spare cash for more crap that can shoved into corners or cubbys.

Laundry, trash, sporting goods, jewelry, makeup and magazines all belong in the same receptacle. All 1200 of them.

I am in fact, MADE of MONEY.

Now you know why you have always found me difficult. Assuming that anyone reads this as I am a loser nerd.

I like Socrates intend to drink a terrible draft... In my case, it is a tumbler of vodka.... and then I will get up at the crack of dawn, walk the dog, fix lunches, make sure girls get their sad tuchus' are off to school and then go to mass because Imelda is serving and she likes it if we attend... GRRRRR.

1 comment:

Chicka said...

Damn, I knew I was a troublemaker.

So if I read your blog, does that mean I'm a loser nerd too? Bwa ha haaaaa....

Oh girls, you have no idea...