Mr. Milano would be so pleased.

Ironically, it was my 7th grade Algebra teacher that first taught me about Greek Philosophy. In particular, Socrates. Socrates was the center of Mr. Milano's life. Mr. Milano taught us about how Socrates knew all about slope. Ok, "Zero Slope, Baby!" How not to tick off the government so they make you drink Hemlock (trick: don't poke holes in religion... it gets you labeled a trouble maker) and the humility of a genius.

So, though I am a lesser being then Socrates or Mr. Milano, I will echo their basic philosophy. The more I know, the more I realize that I don't know.

Naturally, part of the reason that I realize that I don't know anything is because I have daughters. And they tell me. All the time.

Here are some of the things that I learned today:

I don't know how to make costumes for a kid written production of the Pit and the Pendulum. My black coat and a couple of sheets would NEVER work as clerical robes. Only store bought costumes will do when you are putting on 7 minute plays based on stories by Edgar Alan Poe. Cuz he was a creme of the crop bon vivant!

I don't know how hard it is for teenagers today. Why? I was a nerd and had no life. Lillith is popular and therefore suffers more than I ever did when jr. high girls are bitchy. Why? The higher the heights, the lower the lows.... Clearly, I was spared being an unpopular nerd.

My friends all hate me because I am negative. My negativity has nothing to do girls complaining endlessly. I am just difficult.

Girls search the house thoroughly whenever they lose something. There is NEVER a hidden corner or cubbyhole where they stuff dirty socks or winter coats. Clearly any missing item must be replaced immediately and at the greatest expense possible.

I sass back at my daughters all the time and they are losing their temper with me giving them attitude. They are, in fact, DONE! with me.

My expectations are too high. Cleaning up after themselves, getting decent grades and a couple of household chores should not be expected of them as a requirement for privileges and/or spare cash for more crap that can shoved into corners or cubbys.

Laundry, trash, sporting goods, jewelry, makeup and magazines all belong in the same receptacle. All 1200 of them.

I am in fact, MADE of MONEY.

Now you know why you have always found me difficult. Assuming that anyone reads this as I am a loser nerd.

I like Socrates intend to drink a terrible draft... In my case, it is a tumbler of vodka.... and then I will get up at the crack of dawn, walk the dog, fix lunches, make sure girls get their sad tuchus' are off to school and then go to mass because Imelda is serving and she likes it if we attend... GRRRRR.

It has become an obsession

Yes, I think that is the fairest way to view it...

An obsession.

With Sarah Palin. (Don't you love the picture? Look at her eyes.... she looks batshit crazy!)

I, unlike many people did know who she was... because I ready the ever snarky Wonkette...

and normally, as a blogging mom, I would walk away from the political stuff.. but then I remembered that Aunt Amy is probably not getting the full hit of the political action here at home while she adjusts to life in Norway. So I realized, Faen! I must talk about the lovely Sarah!

See everything that John McCain has done during this campaign has been done for no other reason than to counteract Barack Obama.

Obama selects Joe Biden as his running mate and people talk about how Hillary supporters will be pissed... so McCain decides on a woman.... HA! That will show them!

Obama plays basketball... so McCain has to find a woman who plays basketball! HA! That will show them!




Obama goes on a around the world tour to broaden his foreign policy experience... so McCain finds a basketball playing woman who lives near Russia! HA! That will show them!

So now the 72 year old "Maverick" who is a four time cancer survivor has selected a woman who has a four month old baby suffering from Down Syndrome, who will have special needs and a 17 year old pregnant daughter who last year suffered from a severe bout of mononucleosis that lasted for 5 or 6 months coinciding identically with the time that Mom was about to pop out baby no. 5 to be one brief heartbeat away from the Presidency.

Oh. And she is a maverick too... you can tell...

First off... look at all her kids names. Track, Trig, Bristol, Piper and Willow? What drugs do they give you post-partum in Alaska? And how do the rest of us get them... (Although, I do believe perhaps Auntie Noranne's father might have been on them too when he selected her name...)

Another way you can tell that she is a maverick is how she chose to give birth to her last child. See, it turns out that when her water broke for this baby, she was in Texas getting ready to give a speech to some governors group...

and instead of going to the nearest hospital of which Texas is filled... she waited a half hour.. gave her speech,

went to the airport... boarded an Air Alaska jet... flew for 8 hours without a moan, a groan.... got off the plane in Anchorage...

Got in her car... skipped the Providence Alaska Medical Center, the biggest hospital in the state (you know.. the one with a NICU and a children's hospital attached)...

drove another 45 minutes out of town... to go to a little teeny tiny hospital not equipped for high risk pregancies or deliveries and finally popped out her little bundle of joy. What an independent strong willed moron woman.! Because that was independently dangerous for both her and baby Trig.

And doesn't it seem fitting that she named that baby after a branch of mathematics... because I can't keep up with the figuring she needs us to do to make her seem a rational choice for Vice President

In the meantime, I continue to obsess.. because the problem is.. it is theoretically possible for her to be elected... sigh.

Still not feeling better

And still sporadically crying.

Last night sucked. BIG FUCKING TIME

It turns out since Trix's parents complained to school about how their charming daughter was bullied all the other girls have been under a microscope. Their every move has been reported on. They have been lectured and moralized at. Teachers have asked them how they would feel if Trix killed herself.

So we go to this god forsaken meeting.

And listen to Father tell us what our Christian mission is at the school.. and the principal, Mr. Castello, then reports from all the teachers. The details of this observation went on for hours. or so it seemed. But really it was about 90 minutes.

Then they turned the floor over to the parents.

And started with Trix's folks.

Now, in case I didn't mention how uncomfortable this scenarios was let me explain. When we walked into the room, there were three rows of chairs for the parentals...I sat in the middle chair of the second row. People filled in the row along with me and the row behind me. Trix's parents alone sat in the first row.

Yup. We are all on the same page. You could see the division.

But ok, Trix's mother start's her speech.

Her daughter has been so miserable. Do you know how horrible it is when your daughter tells you that she doesn't want to go to school and doesn't want to be alive?!!!! Can you imagine anything worse for a mother?

Gee? Can you imagine anything worse?

Because that was the breaking point for me.

?

Well after hearing about my daughter's sins for 90 minutes and know how she had been sinned against..I kinda lost it.

Gee, I don't know Claudia, I don't mean to interrupt, but I think having to take your daughter to the emergency room after she has taken a handful of aspirin is worse!"

Yeah. That was the highlight of the evening

I believe I saw the look on Father's face as he watched the 2nd and 3rd heads emerge from my body. or at least it seemed that way to me.

Teachers, parents, the principal and priest viewed me as if I were insane. And that is because I had succumbed to one of the issues that I try to avoid. Secrecy. I hate it... because when you are protecting a secret... you are in danger.

Well the secret is out.

HA!

And this empowered other parents. Which was good, I think.

The down side?

I saw long standing friendships destroyed in an evening.

That was horrible.

But my daughter is free.

Trix was the center of the trouble that led to her suicide attempt. I ignored her frenzy. to my own detriment.

In all fairness? It seemed unreal. But there it was out.

I railed against teachers that saw what was going on... and ignored it. because she couldn't be bothered. She tried to waffle out of it. Which I wouldn't have expected otherwise, but at that point? Other parents jumped in. because their daughter's fates were ignored.

The out come of all this crap?

The school and parents agreed to bring in a social worker to help these girls. AMEN.


Of course, I wish that I could say that this meeting was universally helpful.

But Lillith got a note from Trix today

"You may have won this round...

but it isn't over...

Watch out."

FUCK.

I still can't feel better.

I am all over the board...

yeah...

I can't help myself.

I think about too many things at the same time... and that is part of the reason that I

a. don't blog

b. blog too many places

or

c. blog about erratically random items...

to that end,

I will or potentially will add (jeebus, I can't make any promises... I am freaking busy...) a list of things that amuse me...


such as this band that I am watching on Letterman that is dressed in capes like they are Hobbits.... (sorry if they don't look like Hobbits on MySpace...) Fuck! That is odd.

also in thought?

Barack Obama v. Hillary Clinton
Lucy Liu
Chicxulub Crater
Luis Walter Alvarez
Walter Alvarez
Alverez and Alverez
Huge impact craters
alcholism v. mourning

Yeah... I am a bit off tonight....

and I know too much geology...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE THAT LED ME ASTRAY!!!!!!

maybe not.. I do know 5 geologists....darn