For Lillith

From Fun Daddy:

celia…celia!…here…there…here…gone.
a white wisp to be seen again???
yes. hope. join us, yes soon…
tall, bold, mumbly, skinny…
always to be heard…in her way…
she knows best…she knows best…(please help)…
smart…taut…undiscovered bloom.
gazelle…a gazelle…running…jumping…slowing…stop…to tie…
a curious case…friends aplenty….sports friends…party friends…hard friends…
friend to many, close to few…
here, now, for a series of moments…on the granite…fleeting.
please….stay…for silent me.
want more, will get less….more to give to others….growing up.
growing lovely…growing self…as should be.
tiny…screaming…wriggling…small stalks of arms and legs screaming skyward…my celia…

My Family of Hope

Yeah! Change is Good!

Lillith's New Wardrobe

Yes, she got her class sweatshirt.

From what I hear from other parents, the kids who are allowed to wear these with their uniforms become a constant in their schoolwear until graduation.

Luckily, I bought two.

So she can mix them up... so to speak.

This lovely navy blue and also in black.

The downside? She laments that she only ordered hoodies and didn't select royal blue. Yeah, life sucks when you are fourteen, doesn't it?

Next up? The fight over what she wears for her graduation picture... which is being taken later this week.

Augh!

Are you F***ing Kidding Me?

This is a bet I am placing. And it is only against myself, because no sucker would take such a bet.

But when Lillith gets home from her first non-grounded day, this is what she will be saying to me when she sees her bedroom.

See, with 4 inches of rain and temps of almost 60o today, our previous six inches of snow is almost gone. Overnight. And while we won't be as hard hit as some folks, we will get some seepage. Through the back door of the basement and into Imelda's bedroom. In fact, it is ALWAYs Imelda's bedroom that takes the hit. It is obviously the low point in the house... or something. But that means that I have to move Imelda's bed.

Now, now, I didn't move the bed to Lillith's room. Instead I moved it to the TV room. And that means that the futon had to be moved. And yes, THAT got moved into Lillith's room. It is smaller than the bed so it made sense.

Still

There is no way that Lillith is going to want to deal with it. Even though she LOVES that futon and most nights sleeps there instead of in her own bed.

Still... I love to see how it is going to go... Cuz I am a sucker that way.

Oh No She Di'Int!

Fun Daddy, Imelda and I went to dinner last night. Lillith was invited but claimed that she had too much of a stomach ache. What-ever... Fine stay home, we said. We went and had a lovely time.

This morning I was looking where Lillith was sitting last night when we got home. Right next to that spot? Her cellphone.

Now, she didn't put it there. That was Fun Daddy's responsibility. (He really isn't good at this grounding thing, is he?) But still, she should have left it alone.

I turned on the phone and held my breath.

I checked the text messages. They were clear. Hmmm.... ok. maybe she left the phone alone.

But then I checked the call listings. Calls came both in and out of the phone while we were gone.

Sigh.

Does she really think that we are THAT stupid? Apparently so.

Fun Daddy and I argued discussed what to do. He wanted to extend her grounding one day. I wanted to extend it one week. Luckily we headed off to marriage counseling before we had to decide. In the end, we compromised. The grounding lasts an additional four days. But if she can keep herself from grousing or wheedling until Friday night, we will shave two days off the grounding and she can have the phone back Saturday morning. However, for every episode of complaint or begging adds an additional day.

Naturally, she wants nothing to do with the compromise. But the rules are established and she is responsible for them either way.

The rest is up to her.

Grounded means you stay home.

Lillith is grounded.

Why? Well, first she told me to fuck off.

And then Fun Daddy said she could go to Drina's but she couldn't set her own schedule like she is used to doing. Instead, we would drop her off at 1:30, go run errands, and then pick her up at 4:00. Personally, I was against this, as I had already been told to fuck off, but even THIS concession was unacceptable to Lillith. Finally, she acceded and we left.

At 3:45, as we were about 10 minutes from Drina's house, Fun Daddy called Lillith to tell her that we were on our way and to be ready for us. Turns out Lillith wasn't at Drina's. She and Drina walked to the sub shop to have a sandwich. FINE. We'll pick you up there. And we continued our drive.

Three minutes later, Lillith calls back. Turns out she isn't at Drina's house AND she isn't at the sub shop. She is at the mall. Sorry, she lied.

So now, we have to go back from where we came and collect our lying, wayward daughter, who earlier in the day told me to fuck off. On the way to the mall, we discuss Lillith's punishment. He wants to take the phone and two days grounding. I insist on a week of both, pointing out that she has lied, taken off on the bus, defied her original restriction AND told me to fuck off. We agreed.

Now every 12 -18 hours she bitches about the total unfairness of both being grounded and losing her phone. She doesn't mind being grounded, but she CAN'T be grounded tomorrow because she made plans. She is going to the mall to buy her boyfriend a Christmas present and then having a sleep over with Drina. And, as always, it is her last chance to do so before.. Mars explodes, I guess. She has to have her phone because text messaging is her main method of communicating with her boyfriend. It is endless and circular. And frankly proof that she just wants her own way.

When these arguments fall on deaf ears I get the follow up.

The harangue about I really don't know anything about her. How she tries so hard, but can't please me ever. I have never really loved her. How I am tuning her out. I have no respect for her (I know.. she told me to fuck off.. this seems a bit pot-calling-kettle-black to me too). That Aunt Maggie was right about me! (whatever this means) No one likes me and because of that I don't know the pressures of being popular. (Yeah, kid, nothing wins me over more than the "You are just a loser anyway" argument)

The worst? She is grounded until Thursday. It is going to be a really long week.

YEah Lillith!

She past the first hurdle to get into one of the best highschools in Chicago!

Now she has to do well on the Test!

Study hard, baby...

Bah Humbug

I am not in a holiday mood.

My tree sits unfinished. No one can find the missing box of ornaments that also contains the garland.

The season isn't particularly jolly this year... I am going to back to work, assuming I can find anything. Fun Daddy's employment contract is up and WON'T be renewed. Which means we currently have no income and by the end of the month will have no insurance.

In the meantime, Lillith bitches about everything I say or do. I bought her the wrong sneakers. I don't buy the right kind of food. She only has on pair of jeans even though I gave her money to buy jeans and she bought two camis and a headband.

And Christmas shopping? It is hobo gifts all around here.. except for the girls... and then Fun Daddy already told them what they are getting. I am sure that on Christmas morning, Lillith will be heard screeching throughout the house, "Please don't tell me that THIS is the color you bought me! OMFG, Don't you know ANYTHING about me?"

You used WHAT?!

Lillith has been working on this immense project for weeks. It is a model of Chicago's Millenium Park

Every weekend... every day... she has worked on this model.

For once, I have NOT been the person hosting the construction. This was done at Drina's house and her father has overseen the construction.

See, back in Poland, Mr. N was an architect. Here is America, he does design/build work. In either case, model making a speciality to the industry and apparently he knows all the tricks.

Lillith in particular was excited about the the spitting fountains... which will really be spitting water(ish). When we asked how they accomplished it, we got this answer from Lillith...

Lillith: "We used cock glue"

FD and I looked at each other...

FD, I: "WHAT!"

Lillith: "Its a kind of glue! I don't know!"

And then we thought about it.... Mr. N speaks English with a strong Polish accent....

FD turns to Lillith and said. "Could he have been saying 'caulk'?"

Lillith: "Yeah. Whatever.."

The best part was Imelda's eyes bugging out of her head and then laughing so hard she almost pee'd.

So just remember. If you are making a model of a park and need to use something for the water? Don't forget the cock glue.

what if your friends don't agree

today Lillith attended a big deal for one of her school friends. Sanchia. Now, Sanchia, used to be a Catholic, but now?

Not so much.

Now Lillith has attended services tonight for her friend Sanchia who was being baptised.

Did all of Lillith's class attend? No.

Why? Well, Sanchia is a Christian. What this means? I have no fucking idea.

Why? I have no idea of Sanchia's level of Christianity. I am sure that she is truly devout. But does that mean that Lillith is interested? No. When I suggested that Sanchia was evangelizing? Well, what the fuck do I know?

As it turns out? more than I appear to know.

Not that Lillith is willing to talk about it.

blech.

How do I get her to talk to me about this?

Down by contact

Yesterday was the beginning of the basketball playoffs. And by luck of the draw the girls got to play the team that they have already lost to twice.

So we were not thrilled to be heading back to the gym that was the scene of the first massacre. The night that I had three girls screaming and swearing after the game. I believe the words, "You can do my MOM!" were screeched across the parking lot to which I responded, "Ewww". The guy keeping the book and running the scoreboard was blatantly partisan and failed to make notations about any of the fouls his team had committed. oh, and a couple of times, he forgot to start the scoreboard. It was exceptionally unpleasant.

When we played them in our home gym they got roasted as well. Pretty much as bad as the first time. Plus, the girls were scratched and bruised from the elbows thrown during the game.

Needless to say, we were not looking forward to last night.

And it was rough. The elbows were out in force. Girls were hitting the floor left and right. Lillith's friend Maire got her eye poked so she had to take out her contacts. Our girls were getting called for fouls that were being ignored when committed by the other team. A girl from the sidelines came running out while Drina was shooting foul shots. A technical foul. Which wasn't called. A girl pulled Lillith's glasses off her face and called her a skank. (That was called) another girl grabbed Drina in a hug from behind (that was called too).

To further complicated matters the other team have sixth graders (or maybe seventh graders... they don't have a 7th grade team) play "up" with the 8th graders. That is fine except we ended up with two girls at number 12 and two girls at number 13. On our team, we also have a number 13. So at one point there were three girls on the court wearing number 13. Our team was designated the "black" team and the other team was "blue" but it confused the normal way of calling fouls. Blue team number 13 elicited calls of "Which one?". We ended up with a system. Big 13 and Little 13 and Big 12 and Little 12. Insanity.

In the end, our girls managed to edge out these little thugs. Our girls were en fuego (naturally). And we, parents, well, we were relieved.

I am looking forward to a more civilized game... like rugby.

Unsettled

Fun Daddy is out of town. Girls have their schedules to adhere to including basketball tonight and Thursday night. I am having trouble focusing. I don't know why? Must be 7:30 mass. When all else fails, I will blame god, I guess. Actually, we have gotten used to having Fun Daddy around the house. He seems to understand that my brain works best from 11:00am-midnight... whereas his works better 6:00am-7:00pm. Unfortunately, with him out of town, I am responsible from 6:00am-midnight which is the preschool schedule I used to have to keep in the bad old days. Sigh.

I was looking forward to talking to Aunt Amy but I couldn't seem to get a line out. And then, voila! I did! Naturally, my conversation was exactly five minutes in length before my phone started ringing. But with a number I didn't know. So I ignored it when it came through on my cell... and then it came through on my house phone.... and then again.

Sigh.

I wait until I have the perfect opportunity to speak to my friend who lives almost 4,000 miles away and NOW the phone starts to ring. I pop over and find out it is Fun Daddy... it turns out that the school called (from a secret unknown number.. Gee, Thanks guys!) Lillith is having an allergic reaction. So I hang up with Aunt Amy and call back the school.

Lillith and Imelda too got lighted during science lab because they were working with cottonwood fluff. (hmmm, let me guess an exercise in mass, weight and volume?) She has permission to stay out of science and I will pick her up later... but the question is... WHO the FUCK uses allergic fluff for a science lab? Were there no hypo-allergenic cotton balls?

Faen!!!

Growing up is Hard

And I am not talking about the girls.

Whoever came up with the idea of "Grownup" was full of shit, because everytime my girls are ready for another phase, I have to deal with my issues related to it too..

For instance, getting around town.

Lillith made it easier (ironically) by just getting on the bus with Drina and going places and never telling me. As much as I loathed it afterwards, I escaped the dread that accompanies your kid trying something new for the first time. It was taken out of my hands. Now that I am kind of used to it, I have to start all over again with Imelda.

On Saturday she wanted to take the train downtown to go to Water Tower Place. She had a Gap card burning a hole in her pocket and she wanted some new jeans. Well, for once in her life, she is running ahead of the other girls in her class. Cate is afraid to pick up germs on public transportation, Elsa's mother nixed it... and another was just down right afraid.

Enter Lillith and Drina. They will go downtown with her... Don't worry about it, Mom. The problem? Well the our local El stop is being worked on over the weekend... So Fun Daddy drove them downtown and forgot to get them to commit to a method for getting home. My directions related to getting to State Street via the train...

I didn't realize this issue until the phone calls started coming in... Naturally, when Lillith is talking to Fun Daddy she is nasty to him... so he hung up on her. "She can find her OWN way home" he humpfed. WHAT? She has my baby with her too! Augh! I call them back and realize the problem... get online at the CTA and find the easiest route for them. Up the inner part of Lake Shore Drive to Irving Park and then West until home. Problem solved. I could now relax.

Yes, they were going to be home later than I wanted it would be almost dark... but I could deal with that...

Except... Then I got a call at 6:00. "What exit are we supposed to get off at?" was the question I got. Uh oh. "Irving Park, near your old school... Where exactly are you?" I asked, but already Lillith was saying to Drina, "Pull the cord! pull the cord!" Double Uh Oh.

"Lillith! Where are you?" Let's just say that they were several stops from where I wanted them... to far north. In Uptown. Now, Uptown can be a great place. But not for three young teenaged girls after dark. After screaming about Lillith's detached head, I got her to look around. She found a bus... It wasn't the exact one I wanted them on, but it would do. And it would make them safer then just walking around a neighborhood with more than its share of addled homeless, junkies and sex offenders....

When they got home about an hour later, I breathed a sigh of relief. Lillith and Drina apologized for loosing track of where they were going. And Imelda thanked me for letting her go. She had a great time.

I know that they are growing up and have to explore their world... I just wish they could do it all in the bright light of day.

I don't wanna grow up more...

What a game

I have spent the last 3 hours watching basketball. Or as it is played by Catholic school girls. Basket Tackle.

It is a hard, cruel game every team over the 6th grade made 20 or more fouls. I am not kidding.

You wanna know how bad it was? Imelda made 5 fouls. FIVE.

Then the 8th graders played. and Lillith 4 fouls. And Imelda, who was asked to play up on the 8th grade team, made another 2 fouls.

Holy cripes!

The girls from the other team were literally trying to pull Frieda's jersey off of her. And Drina hit the ground more times than I could count.

The 7th graders won their game 28-16. The 8th graders lost 31-35. Next game Friday.

Oh, and I got to meet Lillith's new boyfriend, Thor. He seems a very nice boy. But he is 6'2". Six feet. Two inches. Holy mothers of the gods. Now that being said, he spoke politely to me and shook my hand that I offered to him. No limp fish. Gah! I am not ready for this.

Bienvenue!

Welcome to Maman's festering cesspool of sick.

Everyone here is on the verge of coming down with something or another...

Imelda started off by coming home on Friday. She seemed less ill than I would have liked considering the totally pitiful stance she showed at home.

Monday I felt like death rewarmed (although in all fairness I was up abusing my control of the teevee remote and premium cable channels)


Now Lillith is home. and napping. You know what that means... she really is sick.

blech

Today is her birthday!

Yes...

Nanny is 101 today.

and Yes.... that is from her 100th birthday....

She looks the same.

The silly part is that we are finally hearing from my cousin, John (Bud) that Nanny is starting to slow down....

I talked to her tonight and she was irritated that it was hot and rainy today. It makes her bones hurt. She also misses home. So she has started to get our hometown paper, The Union Sun & Journal. So now she knows when someone she knows dies. That is so Nanny.

Oh, and Nanny said that she was watching Mother Angelica on the EWTN. She saw a group of nuns that teach only at the elementary school level...and wear all white long habits. When she saw them, she thought of Imelda. Surprisingly enough, Fun Daddy and I have had our own conversations about Imelda becoming a nun. Why? I don't know. It just pops into our head.... we have all decided to keep it to ourselves... we don't want to spoil the surprise!

Oh and speaking of surprises, Lillith revealed on today. She chose her confirmation name... and it is the same as Nanny's middle name. Since she already has Nanny's "legal" first name, I thought this was very special. Better yet, despite the initial, "I get to choose for myself, right?" question as if I was forcing her somehow... Lillith did indeed select that name herself. I will give you a hint as to the name she selected... it is a floral name. And yes. I think you have a couple of options to guess...

She also selected Aunt Maggie as her confirmation sponsor. Nanny was surprised by that too. She thought that Maggie was Jewish.. don't worry Maggie... Nanny thinks that everyone outside the family is Jewish. Fun Daddy included. So you are in really good company.

But it is no surprise that Nanny is having a great day and is planning on having an even better weekend when Mom and Dad, and Aunt Pat and Uncle Tom arrive over the weekend. I wish I could be there this year, but I am keeping these girls on their paths.... and taking kids to Student Council retreats and hosting the Mother's Club meeting... yeah. that is how we roll...

Happy birthday, Nanny! We love you!

See you soon!

Love, Me.

I interrupt my normally scheduled rant.

To bring some freakishly good news.

Yeah, I will deal with the quasi-interruption of the Presidential bullshit tomorrow. but today. I am compelled to still spill over with joy!

I believe that it is no news that I have complained endlessly on this blog about the trouble that I have motivating my children when it comes to school.

Well... they have been in school for five weeks or so now. You know what that means?

Progress Reports, including Parent/Teacher Conference!

And for once in my life as a mother... I have come away from this process smiling.

Now according to my children, I am a grouse that requires utter and complete perfection. They have been wrong about that. Not that I think that any of you question that.. however...

Lillith has an 89 average!!!!!!!

Imelda has a 91 average!!!!!!!

I got this information yesterday and am still in bliss over it

The lowest single grade that anyone has is an 82. Now the unfortunate part is that they go to Catholic school so an 82 is a C. Just like a 90 is a B. But I as a former public school girl looks at the hard cold numbers.

And their numbers indicate that Lillith gets second honors or merit roll and Imelda is on the honor roll!

YEAHHHHHHH!..... I am so happy... I can't stand myself.

I feel like Gil from Parenthood who freaks out when his little freak of a son catches a pop fly at the Little League game. Yeah, I lobbed a billion pop flies at them, but I am still overwhelmed that they caught them in the actual game.

Particularly since they kept spitting on the ball.

An Intervention

Not that kind.

But Fun Daddy and I have decided that Lillith's poor attitude must stop.

So we have explained it in simple terms...

If she can't follow our rules, do her homework, be respectful and make an effort to get along with people and generally pissing on everyone's parades... We will not be paying $10k a year on private high school. It is really quite simple.

We are required to feed and clothe her and teach her right from wrong. But we are not required to give her everything that she wants.

It is really that simple.

Don't you think?

Go Cheer Squad!

This weekend was the first of the two cheerleading squad car washes. Coach Carol set a goal of 50 cars per day, thinking that it would be hard to get that many....

Instead the girls washed 67! It was a long day for the cheersquad and their families who helped out. Even Lillith helped, although, in typical Lillith fashion had to wear her most constipated face to show that she was only there under duress. A project for another day, I suppose.

In the meantime, Fun Daddy and I were exhausted and sunburned and Imelda has a special sunburn in the shape of a bow.... Oh, and I liked that Father's car got the bikini carwash treatment... even though the carwashers were only 10.

Summer Fun

Yes, it seems to be missing sound. Clearly I screwed something up. But it is the happiest I have seen them together this summer so I had to record it!