My Cowardly Sister

An open letter to my sister who blogs under the name The Cranky Housewife:

I knew that you would be a coward unable to handle anyone contradicting the illusion that you have created about yourself. Luckily, I saved my comment. Hopefully, Brittany from A Political Mind will see what you have blocked.

If you are interested in reading my sister's demented screed please feel free to look her up at the cranky housewife. Be assured that she hates feminists, liberals, self-actualized humans and anyone who disagrees with her by using the most generic, disproven stereotypes that are thrown around by any git on Fox News. Example:

Liberal feminists are typically loud mouthed complainers who want to have their cake, eat it too just as long as there are no trans fats… and they certainly won’t be baking that cake from scratch like some housewife or something. Just what kind of woman do you take them for?

yeah. that's it. We liberal chicks don't love our families, cook or do laundry or do anything homespun-ny. And anyone who is read my blog, KNOWS that I am all about the modern conveniences and not lifting a finger...

On the other hand, this is how she describes herself and those women like her:

Any man who is married to a conservative feminist will tell you that his least favorite conversations ever start with the words, “Honey, I’m not happy about something.” Those husbands know full well that this one simple phrase is (like it or not) a call to action, and can quite literally change the world – one universe at a time. Once a conservative feminist gets a bee in her bonnet there will be no peace until her demands are met, and if that means changing the direction in which the planet Earth revolves around the sun in order to restore harmony... well, the sooner we get started working on that the happier we’ll all be.

Ugh. Obviously the same nasty bully she has always been. My way or the highway. Margo has been the kind of gal that would use your feelings for her to get her own way. Don't want to see her in pain? Pay for that, bitch.

One political blogger tried to use logic and reason with my batshit crazy sister and responded several times to Margo's craziness. Here is my response to her that naturally my sister deleted. Because she doesn't want facts interfering with what people think about her:

Brittany, Don't waste your breath. My sister has always made up stories when facts don't exist. If you listen to what she writes you understand that "conservative feminism" is bullying people until you get your own way. She thinks that Puritans were first wave feminists! Not exactly the word that I would use to describe Mary Wollstonecraft assuming that Crankypants even knows who she is. (oops, I forgot, education and culture are wastes of time when one has laundry to do - truly the feminist mantra).

Remember that her type is a bully and a user and will insult, lie, and use any institution that they can to get what they want.

Let me tell you about an example. Picture a man and woman who spend several nights a week at the home of their daughter who just gave birth to triplets to watch over, feed and change the moppets over night so their daughter and son-in-law could sleep. Now imagine that when the boys reach their first birthday, that man and woman are told that they are terrible people and the woman is an alcoholic who is a danger to those children. In order to have contact with their grandchildren that man and woman would have to stop drinking, go to AA and then go into therapy. Imagine then the folks being told that the daughter's parish priest (who never met the folks) agreed that the folks were a danger to the daughter and her family.

Now you might ask the question, "If the folks were so dangerous, why did the daughter allow her sweet boys to be thus endangered?" Ahh. The answer is: the daughter needed them. And when she didn't anymore? Well out to the trash with you. And I bet you aren't surprised to learn that the daughter in this story is my sister, the cranky housewife.

Good Christian and homespun family sort that she is hasn't let her parents see her children in 7 years. I haven't seen them either even though I baptised them the day that they were born.

Oh, and I am a liberal. And I used to work "outside" the home, which deeply offended the her new, improved extended family.

So don't pay too much attention to what Mscrankypants has to say. She is full of bluster and bull and I haven't seen her bake a cake from scratch or otherwise in the 36 years I was allowed to consort with her.

You say that the tea party neglects history? True that. My sister is truly one of them at heart. She cast off her parents, her sister and her two nieces in order to protect her new world from evidence of her previous existence because those facts don't mesh with what she wants you to know about her.

The heartlessness she showed her nieces, in particular, is a perfect mirror of how the Tea Party operates.

Give me what I want or the little one's get hurt.

Very homespun indeed.

So she is a good Christian, homespun sort. and I am a fat loudmouth with no kindness in my soul.

In her world? Conservative = Good; Liberal - Bad (or Communist or whatever it is that people who have never had to accomplish anything on their own says about people who make an effort). She blocked my comment and closed all the comments on her blog to keep me from saying anything that she doesn't want anyone to know about her.

And by blocked my comment, I mean she probably got my brother-in-law to do it for her as details have never really been her forte and we all know what happens when a bully doesn't get her way.

In true conservative "feminist" fashion.

Irony Is Dead

I think I haven mentioned before that my Father is somewhat to the political right of Attila the Hun. So, it should come as no surprise that he and my Mother love Glenn Beck.

Personally, I think Beck is an over-the-top clown but I have been surprised and disappointed to find members of my family who believe his schtick. I would have thought the girls giggling when my father started talking about teabaggers would have been enough to shame him out of it, but alas, this has not been the case.

For the record, my Father is a "birther" too. The irony of this is amazing as my Dad was born in Honolulu, Oahu in March of 1942. That would be 17 years before Hawaii was a State in the United States. Which technically questions whether my Father is a natural born U.S. citizen. And no, Dad was not born on the Pearl Harbor Naval Base, so he doesn't have this loophole to cling to. Even better? the first time I went to Hawaii, I was tasked with ordering a copy of my Father's birth certificate which he lost over the years. When it arrived I got to see it. It looks identical to the one presented by President of the United States, except of course, it says, Territory of Hawaii instead of State of Hawaii. Yes, my father denies the authenticity of a birth certificate that is virtually identical TO HIS OWN.

Needless to say, I found Jon Stewart's takeoff on Beck's conspiracy insanity HI-Sterical.

Enjoy, in case you missed it.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The 11/3 Project
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

LinkedIn Recommended Who?

As I was pushing out my daily VinoVerve blog post on LinkedIn this morning looked over to the corner to where they list people you might already know.

Who did I see?

My brother-in-law. The one that I haven't seen in five years after my sister and her husband decided that they couldn't be part of our lives because we remind my dear sister, Margo of who she was before she married "above" her station. Now that she has become more gentile than the rest us, it was necessary for her to cast us off so the stink of our unacceptability doesn't offend our betters... i.e. his family.

Dying to know how we got potentially connected and wonder how many times a similar connection request has gone to him. Obviously he has ignored it. He can't bother to deal with riffraff such as me. No doubt he is irritated that LinkedIn doesn't have higher standards. Or just appalled that a woman would advertise her skills and accomplishments outside her domestic arena. But then, I am a hardened trull that way.

Love the link to his website. It seems perfect for him. Ridiculously boring and making it unclear what it is advertising. Good thing he doesn't have family that knows anything about websites. Someone might have told him that site doesn't say anything about the company or what it does.

Wingnut A-Go-Go

I believe that I have stated in the past that the majority of my relatives are right of Attila the Hun. Naturally for my birthday, relatives have been unable to resist harassing me with political crap. (You would think that President Obama had been an do-nothing President in office for the last 3 1/2 years instead of a guy working his ass off for the last oh, say 21 days... but whatever)

Late on my birthday I get this:

Gretch

I hear BO is going to place in the Stimulus Package a small earmark just for you… 25 Million or so… just to convert your family relatives to ACLU members and “progressives” (liberals in disguise). I don’t think it’s going to be enough.

Even a proud “Progressive” deserves a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and many, many happy returns.

Love UB

Now, UB is PARANOID about the ACLU. Like the ACLU wants to castrate your sons, cancel Christmas and otherwise brainwash you and make you sing Kumbiyah for the rest of your days kind of paranoid. Needless to say that it Fer-REEKS, him out that I am a card carrying member.

So, naturally I countered:

Oh UB,

You misunderstood. That wasn't an earmark to convert you all to the ACLU... That was medical research for brain transplants....

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Your niece,

Gretchen

I had to have some fun...

My birthday dinner with my Dad I had to listen to how President Obama mis-spent the first half of the TARP fund in December even though GWB was the POTUS. It made my brain hurt. Apparently that is Rush Limbaugh's latest pronouncement. Being a staunch independent free-thinking Ditto-head, my father must agree...

Save me Blingee Jesus

I get this stuff from family....

Now you all know what is wrong with me....

Do you think that the artist added the sparkling golden gates? or was that an after thought?

Jesus is wearing a bathrobe! Did we ring the bell on the Pearly Gates while he was in the shower? And is he wearing a t-shirt under the robe? Puh-leeze! And doesn't this image make you think that Liberace is running heaven?

And if he is? Do I really want to be there?

Luckily, I am breaking the chain on the chain letter so I will never find out.

Happy Birthday in Heaven!

Today is my Grandpa George's birthday. He was 95 years old when he left us in 1992, so today he would have been 111.

He was my Grandmother's 3rd husband, but really the only Grandfather I had on that side of the family. And frankly, while I loved my Grandpa Miller... He and Grandma didn't really like little kids, particularly when they first became grandparents... and I was their first grandchild.

George on the other hand? Well, he never had any children of his own. But when he married Nanny, he got all of us. Six stepdaughters and 28 grandchildren. Now, some of my older cousins remember my "real" grandfather. He died when my Mom was 15. So George? He was my Grandpa.

He picked me up from ballet lessons. He came to my band and choir concerts, all my performances. My graduations... He was too frail for my wedding.

When my brother was sick.. he would watch us kids while Gram and Mom were at the hospital. When my Mom needed to put weight on my brother, George would go out and find him his favorite thing. Candy Corn. Even if it was in the middle of a blizzard, "Ceil," he would say to my Grandmother, "The boy needs candy corn".

When my brother died, George was stoic. He had lost so many people he loved. It hurt him, you could tell... but he was there for Gram.

All of this is the amazing legacy of this man who took us all on. But the thing is that none of it should have ever happened. See, George was a veteran of The Great War. He was a boy of 17 sent to France to fight. He escaped the Influenza Pandemic to be blown up in a trench and have his lungs nearly burned out with mustard gas. When they sent him home? It was to die. But he didn't die. He went on to live a long, productive life. He was largely deaf from the war, and suffered health effects the rest of his life. But he was important to me. And I will miss him forever.

Happy Birthday Grandpa! I love you!

Lu'ulu'u Tutu

One day before election day, Barack Obama's grandmother died.

I was very sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how I would feel about my grandmother dying at a moment like this in my life... and she didn't raise me. And my parents are still alive.

Every description I have read of Madelyn Dunham made me realize she was a remarkable woman on her own account. That is not even taking into account she raised a daughter who lived her life on her own terms and helped raise a grandson who did the same.

To die one day before she could potentially see her grandson elected President of the United States is a tragedy. The last bit of good news that I saw was that her absentee ballot that she cast for grandson will count. Apparently the rule in Hawaii is that being alive while it was cast, and being a legitimate absentee ballot, the vote will count. That is one good bit of news.

in the meantime, Aloha Tutu, Lu'ulu'u (Goodbye, Grandmother, we grieve)

Today is her birthday!

Yes...

Nanny is 101 today.

and Yes.... that is from her 100th birthday....

She looks the same.

The silly part is that we are finally hearing from my cousin, John (Bud) that Nanny is starting to slow down....

I talked to her tonight and she was irritated that it was hot and rainy today. It makes her bones hurt. She also misses home. So she has started to get our hometown paper, The Union Sun & Journal. So now she knows when someone she knows dies. That is so Nanny.

Oh, and Nanny said that she was watching Mother Angelica on the EWTN. She saw a group of nuns that teach only at the elementary school level...and wear all white long habits. When she saw them, she thought of Imelda. Surprisingly enough, Fun Daddy and I have had our own conversations about Imelda becoming a nun. Why? I don't know. It just pops into our head.... we have all decided to keep it to ourselves... we don't want to spoil the surprise!

Oh and speaking of surprises, Lillith revealed on today. She chose her confirmation name... and it is the same as Nanny's middle name. Since she already has Nanny's "legal" first name, I thought this was very special. Better yet, despite the initial, "I get to choose for myself, right?" question as if I was forcing her somehow... Lillith did indeed select that name herself. I will give you a hint as to the name she selected... it is a floral name. And yes. I think you have a couple of options to guess...

She also selected Aunt Maggie as her confirmation sponsor. Nanny was surprised by that too. She thought that Maggie was Jewish.. don't worry Maggie... Nanny thinks that everyone outside the family is Jewish. Fun Daddy included. So you are in really good company.

But it is no surprise that Nanny is having a great day and is planning on having an even better weekend when Mom and Dad, and Aunt Pat and Uncle Tom arrive over the weekend. I wish I could be there this year, but I am keeping these girls on their paths.... and taking kids to Student Council retreats and hosting the Mother's Club meeting... yeah. that is how we roll...

Happy birthday, Nanny! We love you!

See you soon!

Love, Me.

This explains a lot about my family

David Brooks
Via the NY Times


Apparently a new study shows that presenting facts and truth to conservative voters makes them more likely to keep their original opinion...

From the Washington Post:

One group was given a refutation -- the comprehensive 2004 Duelfer report that concluded that Iraq did not have weapons of mass destruction before the United States invaded in 2003. Thirty-four percent of conservatives told only about the Bush administration's claims thought Iraq had hidden or destroyed its weapons before the U.S. invasion, but 64 percent of conservatives who heard both claim and refutation thought that Iraq really did have the weapons. The refutation, in other words, made the misinformation worse.

[The study suggests] that Republicans might be especially prone to the backfire effect because conservatives may have more rigid views than liberals: Upon hearing a refutation, conservatives might "argue back" against the refutation in their minds, thereby strengthening their belief in the misinformation. [They] did not see the same "backfire effect" when liberals were given misinformation and a refutation about the Bush administration's stance on stem cell research.

How do you deal with people who will not listen to the truth to their own detriment? Tenacity is a virtue, but this is what my mother used to call, "Cutting off your nose, despite your face" and was always considered the sin of false pride. or as David Brooks referred to it the other day, as a compensation for their inadequacies by showing "brashness and excessive decisiveness."

(Imagine me agreeing with anything that David Brooks might say.... it must be a cold day in hell)

The transformative power of bullshit

I need to be saved from it.

I have Republican family members and they are just to the right of Ghengis Khan.

Please don't look at me like that... and please swallow that vomit that entered your mouth. They scare me too.

Because they keep sending me creepy materials via the internetz...

Now, don't misunderstand me. I am open to debate. But you are not entitled to send unsubstantiated undocumented heresay from your grandmother's boyfriend's cousin's neighbor. That does not constitute "proof" anywhere in the world.

Republican's don't speak for god.

Republican's don't understand what the original framers of the constitution meant.

Republican's don't understand family values more than the rest of us...

So if we can be clear on it. Shut the fuck up.

You knowz whoz youz iz....

Oh who the hell am I kidding... My family doesn't read this blog. They just think the know what I mean.... and obviously that means that they understand me as much as what is going on in this country.

Schobermesse

I know, I know you are asking, "What is a Schobermesse?"

I was asking the same thing last week or so...

And then Fun Daddy revealed one of those nuggets of his childhood that was hidden away... It is an old Luxembourger tradition... it is the Harvest Festival. And he has been to them before. And better yet? There was one being held near our house.

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

But here we are at the Schobermesse with my girls and Drina, who was mistaken for my third daughter... (Man would THAT have been a busy couple of years!)

Now that I have been to one, I have learned some things...

a. Holy Hell! Luxembourgers are very similar. They all have a need to micro-manage or as they would say, "supervise" their families

b. They all believe in family and community and keeping their culture alive

c. and wow! they love to organize into groups... in fact, no less than three sections of the Luxembourg Brotherhood are recruiting Fun Daddy for their section... He and I, both felt overwhelmed by kindness and offers of friendship.

Oh, and as an extra bonus... we got to drink Luxembourger wine too!

No Really! I am low maintenance

I had a conversation with my cousin, Bud tonight. He was talking about what a low maintenace guy he is.

Now I love my cousin, I learned how to burn ants with a magnifying glass from him... He is the closest thing I have to a big brother, but one thing I can tell you.. he isn't low maintenance.

Frankly, I don't think that ANY of of are low maintenance... we are all would a bit tight. It is in our very natures... but as we were having this conversation, this is the only thing that popped into my mind....

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

Yup... that is his kind.. I suspect that he will be taking this observation to the rest of the family... so be prepared.... oh hell, who am I kidding.. the only person that might be reading this is Jenn... so Jenn, pass this on to anyone you chat with!

Enough Already!

It has been a leafy week here for me as I take the multiple versions of the decorative leaf for the Stammbam from the Auld Sodd.

Now, not only do I have to meld 6 different pictures together but it would be swell if I can show all the most important features of each individual. Oh, and do I mind splitting apart people who are in the SAME picture so that they can be moved to more appropriate places? Grrr

I have accomplished them all. But I swear I will freak if asked to do more. I am irritated at this point. Particularly as Fun Daddy is complaining about all the other things that I am NOT accomplishing.

I think leaf side 2 looks better over all. Not only for my improved photoshopping skills but also because most of the people in the picture do look like someone peed in their cornflakes that morning. (Christmas Eve, 1951 to be specific)

The first round of the second side of the leaf was met with complaint that it was too wide and my MIL was too far from the center. Can't I crunch people in together more?

Now I am hearing that I failed to show Uncle Carl's rank. When he was in the Army. During WWII. In the first half of the LAST CENTURY. Oh and when the engravers start their work they will probably be able to spread apart the people in the image right?

Because when you have melded 7 clips from 6 photos which include two brides, a soldier, a guy in sunglasses, two bedraggled children and two floating heads the main issue is to not cut a stripe off the soldiers sleeve from sixty years ago.

DONE!

I have come up with a plan!

I opened my email this morning and found that I had not one, but THREE emails with this title:

Fwd: Fw: Obama's Church

I am not going to discuss the stupidity layed out there... because it is laughable.. or maybe it is only laughable to me since I live in Chicago where this church is located and know that this email is a nonsense piece of crap... One of the senders of this email to me is my dear sweet father. I am not entirely certain how he manages to be able to read this emails these days as his head is so far up his ass lately that it seems an impossibility. However, he was the main sender of this email.

Now what I like the most is my family recieves copies of these emails from my father... and THEN forward them to ME. Don't they notice I am already on the email list? I guess not.

For the last couple of years I have been perplexed by these stupid internet rumors and emails that I get. Where do they come from? Who creates them? Can any idiot do it? And if they can, how come I never get the equivalent email against Republican candidates? Do I have internet BO and no one will let me play their reindeer games?

So to that end I have decided to create my own... and feel free to appropriate it and send it on to every moron you know who has sent you one of those ridiculous chain emails... it might just work!

Fwd: Fw: Beating Hillary!‏
From:	PMiller (pmiller264@sbcglobal.net)
Sent:	Sat 1/12/08 5:48 PM
To:	J Brown (jeanettehbrown@msn.com); eyqe@sbcglobal.net; Judy Fargher (judyfargher@yahoo.com); geshkewich@yahoo.com; John Moriarty (jjmoriarty@cox.net); Elaine (emoriarty@nc.rr.com); chuck (cnmn@optonline.net); Fran Waldriff (Franiwaldriff@aol.com); Roger Warner (imawarner@comcast.net)

Hey! this just might work!

Note: forwarded message attached.--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Date: Sat, 12 Jan 2008 07:09:10 -0800
From: millerca50@yahoo.com
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Beating Hillary!
To: pmiller264@sbcglobal.net

Note: forwarded message attached.



    ____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a better friend, newshound, and
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.  Try it now.  http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2008 17:19:32 -0800
From: luvcat22t@yahoo.com
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Beating Hillary!
To: Sneakers35@aol.com; collinsk@eng.buffalo.edu; countryredhead337@yahoo.com; vicandpam95@yahoo.com; thedew66@yahoo.com; carebear27616@yahoo.com; jualem@verizon.net; nancykay@rochester.rr.com; coastalfox1@yahoo.com; sbglynn@verizon.net; deannagreer2006@aol.com; brian.humphreys@verizon.net; daisyjane63@yahoo.com; ford17j@yahoo.com; jskakuj1@rochester.rr.com; s_logan@hotmail.com; desertlogan@yahoo.com; millerca50@yahoo.com; brlani@aol.com; soozeeq0124@yahoo.com; tbyrdtaney@yahoo.com



Note: forwarded message attached.

---

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.--Forwarded Message Attachment--
From: billybob@veawb.coop
To: ;
Subject: Fw: Beating Hillary!
Date: Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:33:28 -0800

We all know that Hillary Clinton will do anything to win the Presidency of the United States and enslave all of her enemies (and Bill) in Guantanamo Bay. But how is she doing it? Well, we finally have an answer. This is going to be hard to believe, but you should since I heard it from my friend, Julie's doctor's priest's auto mechanic.

It seems that Hillary Clinton made a deal with Satan in order to win the election. I know that seems we are done for and should be prepared to be tortured by illegal alien, drug abusing, Spanish speaking muslim, gay pedophile transvestites and Jesse Jackson. See? There is a picture of them together.. so this is TOTALLY TRUE!

Luckily, Father McCarthy, Julie's Doctor's Priest interceded on our behalf. But we have to do our part too. See it seems that Satan put in a twist into the deal so it is still possible for her to be stopped and the good Father got Beezlebub to tell us how. It turns out that Hillary will lose 100 votes everytime someone who opposes her goes to the tallest building in their town and jumps off.

Now, I know how much you love America so, naturally, I thought of you first. Will you help save us from Hillary and keep us honest Americans from having to shovel coal in the pits of hell for the Beast (and Satan too!) (I know you God-fearing Christian English-speaking, not on welfare, prayer in school and Ten Commandments loving patriots out there will enjoy that joke!) Hurry... the fate of our nation is in your hands.... Will you help God and save AMERICA?

Please forward to everyone you know in the next ten minutes and Satan promises to cut an extra 1,000 votes from Hillary's election day tally.... Don't delay!

I don't know... Do you think it will work? It might be worth a try.

Pix from Aunt Fran!

At long last I am posting the photos that my Aunt Fran sent me from the trip to Lockport. This first shot is the dinner we had the night before the big party at The Metropolitan. Nanny was surprised that anyone would sing for her.... Imagine her surprise when we left the joint and the band in the bar area played happy birthday for her again! She was a celebrity in town that weekend!
Les filles at dinner posing for Aunt Fran. Their cousin, Kyle is trying to have a conversation with the guys in the background!
Mes filles avec leur pere!
Nanny after mass receiving the Proclamation from the Mayor (although this dude ain't him) Please note assorted cousins, including my cousin Pilar who NEVER comes to these events and her friend Jay who is a playright. Also my cousins Loretta and Loretta's daughter/grandaughter (depending on persepective) in the pink dress.
Here is Imelda with Chach and Aunt Fran.... after the ceremony, Aunt Fran took the girlies out shopping for new outfits! Aren't Aunties the best?

Finally here is my Dad and his best friend, Ron. It was because of Uncle Ron and my Aunt Judy that my folks were introduced.... Aunt Judy lived down the street from my mom when they were little and mom used to walk to kindergarten with Judy.....

The Downside of Home

Back to the trip at the beginning of LAST month, to the auld sod, Lockport, NY.

See, there are bad things about going back home and there are good things. And often they are identical. Family.

Yes, I love them, but sometimes I remember why I am glad that I live 500 miles away. See there is the stupidity of who exactly fits the definition of family.

It should be simple, but it often gets complicated. For instance, that lady in the picture, with les filles is my Aunt Fran. That is easy you say, she is definitely family. But she is my father's sister and not my mother. And therein in lies the problem. This was an event for my mother's side of the family. So we got stuck in the middle. My Aunt Fran wanted to be to honor my Grandmother with us. She has known gram for oh, 45 years or so.... but this was considered a matrilineal event only. Hence the trouble.

Ironically, my Aunt Pat who arranged the celebration did NOT have to extend that consideration to her in-laws... and they showed up in droves. Ahhh, family. You gotta love 'em, right?

Yeah, but sometimes you have to grit your teeth and remind yourself of that love.

Extended family goes double... maybe even triple. My second or third cousin maybe removed or not, loves poetry... and wow, it can be a pisser. Last year's poem, left me considering suicide as it covered my Grandmother's life history in iambic pentameter... see, even I wanted to give up the ghost when considering all the dead people in our family.
This year, I was braced, double-vodka, in hand, as the "Program" began after lunch. Yes, it was time for another poem. Luckily, we didn't have to go through all the death and destruction again... we just got the year long update. There were some new babies, so that was cheery, but my cousin, Ellen died suddenly during the spring and it had to be memorialized in verse. Her daughter, who might be the only family member reading this, didn't attend last year's shindig due to illness and so wasn't aware of what was coming... and frankly, we all forgot to warn her. She might have needed a triple vodka to be ready for it. Sigh.

The last problem with going home is me. Leaving Lockport meant leaving much of past there with it. Going back, means having to face it. and that sucks. So that meant that we had the obligatory stop at that funny park at Lincoln and Transit. The memorial to dead children. They don't call it that. It has a nicer name and is quite lovely and peaceful, but I hate to have to go and remember the pain that came with the loss of my brother. I know it is just a brick, but it is the most depressing brick in town. And knowing some of the other brick owners, The Dockery's and Semo's and those people who lived up Akron Road from us, whose name escapes me at the moment, wasn't much better.

And worse, was my folks leaving this park to go visit the cemetary to see their names engraved on their headstone. I just couldn't this time... it was to much. I did it last year with just my girls.... that was bad enough.

That all being said, it was good to see everyone. Because even if you have escaped yourself, you should go so far that you forget yourself entirely.

To the Cousins...

Here is the article about Gram that ran in Tuesday's(?) Union Sun and Journal...

By the way, it was great seeing you all!

Love,

Gretchen

More crazy stuff from Dad

Which will undoubtedly be impossible for me to post courtesy of the FBI or NSA or who ever tries to screws with criticisms of the powers that be...

and yes, I know that I sound nuts, but I keep having trouble whenever I post something contrary to the Republicans... there is a thin line between coincidence and paranoia.

Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, my father:

Of course you know that if you are willing to swear to the Muslim religion you will have the 70 virgins before they murder you . Your daughters will of course throw out being a Christian. I'm sure the Angel and Imelda will make good Muslim women. Right .

You are right Obama is entitled to become president. And I have no doubt that you can make the transition. Check your stats about Europe and who will be prominent in the next 20 years because people do not recognise the threat. The English and the French are now starting to recognise what peril their countries are in. Ten years from now the Netherlands will be prominently Muslim Progressive Iran.

Hmm, obviously faith and religion do not mean any thing to you. Sweetie you can intellectualise every thing and the radicals love you guys. Why not? They will use this to conquer you.

I would like to thank God I will be dead but I will be sad to know that you let it happen. Obama is the start. But what the hell I'm just an old Catholic conservative. I suspect that those Catholics from South American and Spanish speaking countries will do more to defend the faith than those so called intellectuals from the good old USA.

There was an old adage from the 60's Better red than dead. Check your Koran It is the Muslim religion that dictates. There really is no progressive form of the religion. If Obama is true to his faith than he is duty bound.

You can criticize the right wing religious conservatives, but they will not roll over. However the new adage should be better Muslim and with Allah than being an infidel .

Vote Barack Obama. The next worse scenario is voting for Hillary.

So, let me double check.

So far I am:

• a lesbian;
• a heretic;
• easily influenced;
• living in an ivory tower;
• a communist;
• a coward;
• a shitty mother; and
• a traitor to my country.

Because I pointed out stupidly incorrect facts to my family. Don't you wish you were me? I guess I will go wait for the terrorists to come blow me up like my father told me he hoped so he can put a yellow ribbon on his car like the other patriots. Maybe afterward they can all go out to a good book burning.

Maybe then his only surviving child (my self-absorbed and aggrandizing sister) will acknowledge the family. She will want a ribbon and to spit on my grave too.

I want to go and cry now.

I can't believe how little respect anyone in my family has for me. It breaks my heart.

Open letter to my family and friends...

If I see one more Barack Obama is really a terrorist in disguise email I am going to hurt someone. Really.

This is the latest interation of nonsense from the familles:

Who is Barack Obama? Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM from Kyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHIEST from Wichita,Kansas.

Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii. When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia. When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a MUSLIM school in Jakarta.

He also spent two years in a Catholic school. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school."

Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned toKenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.

Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta.

Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world.

Since it is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.

Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy.

The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States, one of their own!!!!

ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office - he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Kuran (Their equevelancy to our Bible, but very different beliefs).

Please forward to everyone you know. Would you want this man leading our country?

Please note that stupid grammar and mispellings are not mine.

Now... after letting the stupidity waft into your brain (since it is expected by my family) please listen to my response.

Dear Auntie!

That is an excellent question. Who is Barack Obama? Let me help you out by getting rid of the extraneous information for you....

Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr. and Ann Dunham. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii. When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. Obama attended school.

That seems simple enough, doesn't it?

See, Barack Obama is an American citizen by by virtue of his birth in the United States (if you doubt that is a legitimate US territory you may take it up with your brothers Pete and Joe) and that his mother was an American citizen.

In America it is considered perfectly acceptable to be Muslim and it is perfectly acceptable to be an atheist. Many Americans are educated both in and out of the United States. The fact that he attended schools in Indonesia means NOTHING. The fact that most of the schools were full of Muslims is also worthless since most Indonesians are Muslim. Oh, and Indonesia is NOT an Islamic state. 99% of the Muslims in Indonesia are Sunni. Oh and by the way...Sunnis are to Islam what Catholics are to Christianity... The largest and oldest group.

Wahhibism is the sect of Islam followed by our FRIENDS in Saudi Arabia.

Keith Ellison of Minnesota was the Muslim congressman sworn into office on the Koran.

One last thing... The Chicago Sun Times today published a family tree on Barack Obama today. Turns out he is related to three American Presidents: Harry S. Truman, George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush. Ooops. oh and just for fun... he is related to Dick Cheney too.
Please forward to everyone you know. Because this man is as entitled to be President of the United States as much as any American man or woman. Remember:

E Pluribus Unum

Out of many.... one.

We may be different from one another but we are all united as AMERICAN citizens.

Oh, and I am getting remarkably tired of answering this very same email over and over again. I think it is lovely when people have opinions, but I really think you should double check your facts before you forward them on as if the pablum you are sending out were true. Stupid people might believe it.

Thanks.

Love to you all!

My Cousin Ellen

I was going through my email today. Cleaning up the piles of junk that have accumulated over the last couple of weeks as we have moved. I ran across an email from my cousin, Ellen.

good morning- this came to me and I thought it was worth passing on. It seems like it would be a no-brainer- but I'm sure some male Dr. and insurance guys came up with the idea you could leave so soon. Ellen

Sent: Sunday, May 06, 2007 11:32 AM

Subject: [dentalassistingtalk] Important Info: Fight the Insurance (Mastectomies)

I received this from a dentist in Arizona, He asked me to disseminate this information

MASTECTOMY HOSPITAL BILL in Congress

A mastectomy is when a woman's breast is removed in order to remove cancerous breast
cells/tissue. If you know anyone who has had a
mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards.

Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient
procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the
hospital for 2 days after surgery.

It takes 5 seconds to do this and is very important...

please take
the time and do it really quick!

Please send this to everyone in your address book. If there was
Ever a time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those times. If
you're receiving this, it's because I think you will take the 30 seconds to go to vote on thi s
issue and send it on to others you know who will do the same.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act
Which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital
Stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the
"drive-through mastectomy" where women are forced to go home just a few hours after
surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from
Anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Lifetime Television has put this bill on their web page with a
petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed
on.

PLEASE!! Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You
Need only give your NAME, ZIP CODE and EMAIL.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/health/breast_mastectomy_pledge.html
;http://www.lifetimetv.com/health/breast_mastectomy_pledge.html>

This takes about 2 seconds. PLEASE PASS THIS ON to your friends and
Family and, on behalf of all women... THANKS.

Have a smilin' day

Linda Belaus, CDA, RDH
http://www.dentaljobs.net

This was typical of Ellen... she was passionate about the fight against breast cancer, particularly after her younger sister, Coreen was diagnosed. In fact, she spent her Mother's Day participating in the Y-Me Walk.

It turns out that was the last email I would get from my cousin.

Ellen died Monday while scuba diving.

She is survived by her husband of many years, Bob, her beautiful and talented daughter Jennifer, her sisters Colleen and Coreen, her nephew, Alex and her niece, Elisabeth, nicknamed Ellie in her honor and a slew of aunts, uncles and cousins... including me.

My mom has taken her death especially hard. See as a girl as young as ten my mom was Ellen's babysitter. She always described Ellen as her shadow when she was a girl.. and understood why it was important to be kind to and watch out for the little girls who idolize us. Luckily Mom and Ellen got to spend some time together a couple of months back. Still it will hard for her to realize her "shadow" is gone forever.

I was a little girl when Ellen moved away and got married. But I still remember how funny and practical she was. Full of stories of the family from before I was born and the adventures she was enjoying now.

I am going to miss her immensely.

In her honor, I will be making a donation to the Y-Me Breast Cancer walk she recently made...

I hope you will too.