I interrupt my normally scheduled rant.

To bring some freakishly good news.

Yeah, I will deal with the quasi-interruption of the Presidential bullshit tomorrow. but today. I am compelled to still spill over with joy!

I believe that it is no news that I have complained endlessly on this blog about the trouble that I have motivating my children when it comes to school.

Well... they have been in school for five weeks or so now. You know what that means?

Progress Reports, including Parent/Teacher Conference!

And for once in my life as a mother... I have come away from this process smiling.

Now according to my children, I am a grouse that requires utter and complete perfection. They have been wrong about that. Not that I think that any of you question that.. however...

Lillith has an 89 average!!!!!!!

Imelda has a 91 average!!!!!!!

I got this information yesterday and am still in bliss over it

The lowest single grade that anyone has is an 82. Now the unfortunate part is that they go to Catholic school so an 82 is a C. Just like a 90 is a B. But I as a former public school girl looks at the hard cold numbers.

And their numbers indicate that Lillith gets second honors or merit roll and Imelda is on the honor roll!

YEAHHHHHHH!..... I am so happy... I can't stand myself.

I feel like Gil from Parenthood who freaks out when his little freak of a son catches a pop fly at the Little League game. Yeah, I lobbed a billion pop flies at them, but I am still overwhelmed that they caught them in the actual game.

Particularly since they kept spitting on the ball.

Parenting Through Trickery

I have done it...

I won't say that YOU have done it, because I know that YOU are a much better parent than I am. Everyone says so. Always. It's the truth.

But I loved this story. Plus, it involved Gordon Ramsey:

Apparently, Chef Ramsay has convinced his ten year old daughter to eat her vegetables because they will give her big boobs.

The foul-mouthed TV star says his 10-year-old daughter, Megan, was a fussy eater - but she eagerly eats vegetables because she thinks they will enhance her chest.

He says, "I say to Meg, 'You've got to eat your lettuce, otherwise your boobies aren't going to grow.'

"It works - she's eating whole heads of lettuce, saying, 'Dad, look!' "

I am not sure that this is worse than hiding the vegetable in brownies or other tasty foods a la Jessica Seinfeld or the other lady who claims that she wrote the same book.

Personally, I trick my children into eating things by telling them it was their favorite when they were a baby.

I assume from looking at him changing his shirt all the time on his various shows that it is theoretically possible that big boobs are in this girl's future... it just seems a bit more outrageous than my mom telling me to eat the crust of my bread so my hair would curl. But I guess that isn't what the average 10 year old in Britain is concerned about these days.