Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food. Show all posts

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Things I hate

Let me make it simple...

I hate Gwyneth Paltrow. Yes, she is talented. Yes, she is beautiful...

But here is the problem that I am having...

She is a "Foodie"?

Fuck you.

She travels around Spain with Mark Bittman and Mario Batali and some equally evil Spanish skinny bitch who can eat everything and rub it in our faces. Does this endear you to us? FUCK NO.

You don't eat. And if you do? Have the should have the sense to hide this fact from the rest of us, because it is just going to make us all hate you more.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Parenting Through Trickery


I have done it...

I won't say that YOU have done it, because I know that YOU are a much better parent than I am. Everyone says so. Always. It's the truth.

But I loved this story. Plus, it involved Gordon Ramsey:

Apparently, Chef Ramsay has convinced his ten year old daughter to eat her vegetables because they will give her big boobs.

The foul-mouthed TV star says his 10-year-old daughter, Megan, was a fussy eater - but she eagerly eats vegetables because she thinks they will enhance her chest.

He says, "I say to Meg, 'You've got to eat your lettuce, otherwise your boobies aren't going to grow.'

"It works - she's eating whole heads of lettuce, saying, 'Dad, look!' "
I am not sure that this is worse than hiding the vegetable in brownies or other tasty foods a la Jessica Seinfeld or the other lady who claims that she wrote the same book.

Personally, I trick my children into eating things by telling them it was their favorite when they were a baby.

I assume from looking at him changing his shirt all the time on his various shows that it is theoretically possible that big boobs are in this girl's future... it just seems a bit more outrageous than my mom telling me to eat the crust of my bread so my hair would curl. But I guess that isn't what the average 10 year old in Britain is concerned about these days.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

What is the fascination

with my bedroom?

Why won't les filles stay out?

And given the fact that they get in trouble every FREAKING time they go in.... why do they leave evidence?

Forgetfulness? Stupidity? Brain damage?

Currently I am opting for number three.

I came up tonight to find food (orange juice and four, yes FOUR empty packages of mandarine oranges..) a blow dryer, two wet towels and.... (drum roll please)

A PLUGGED IN CURLING IRON!!!!!!

dumb, dumb, dumb.....

why won't she believe me when I tell her that she could set the house on FIRE!!!!
FIRE! dumb, dumb, dumb...

She is too old for this stupidity.

oh... and there are crumbs in my bed... I don't know why... I am afraid they are from her dirty socks... and that creeps me out.

You may guess at random which child I am referring to....

Do they make door locks that you can lock from the inside AND the outside? Jeez

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I am a Gastro Nerd

I know..

You are shocked.

But I have decided to take my love of cooking (and eating and drinking) and my geeky brain and combine them into a new blog:

Gastro Nerds

Feel free to stop by if you are so inclined...

Like my house, the place is still in boxes, but I figure I will figure it out eventually...