Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Zap Went My Brain

I am the product of a pack of highly strung women.

My Mother's Mother, Nanny was for many years on what she referred to as 'nerve' pills. I am not quite sure what they were but I am guessing some sort of "Mother's Helper". Additionally she is something of a hypochondriac. I think this has always been her way and I love her for it. I have heard stories of her coming home from work in the middle of the night and waking her teenagers screaming about chores not finished and making them do them in the middle of the night.

On the other side of the family is my Grandma. That side has generally seemed low key but they have always had quite a bit of drama and in her later years Grandma became a hypochondiac and was on 'heart pills'. Grandma was a bit younger than Nanny so I remember things happening to her (though in all fairness she will remain younger than Nanny as Grandma has passed and Nanny is 102) and I am pretty sure 'nerve' and 'heart' pills were pretty much the same things.

As kids many of my cousins and I would laugh at the level or neuroses in our gene pool and how were too clever and evolved to be as nutty as we saw our elders.

It should come to no surprise that I am what would best be referred to as "tense" which is just a more modern word for highstrung. So far, I have managed to avoid a full-fledged hypochondria (though Marguerite might argue that point). Still. I am well on my way to batshit crazy same as the rest of the elders that we laughed about years ago. Luckily, I feel secure knowing that there are some of the cuz's out there suffering the same thing.

The good news is we haven't been put on tranquilizers which is old school for the anxiety ridden. We have a much classier set of drugs that allow us to be mellow without addicted. Kind of anyway. I thought that the sign of addiction was withdrawal. The trick I learned this week was my particular brand of mellow has withdrawal symptoms which I found out about involuntarily when I went to pick up my new prescription and found that it hadn't been renewed though I am still a couple of months away from being due to see the doc again.

Ok. I did what you are supposed to do under those circumstances and the pharmacy faxed in a request for refill and I waited.

And then I learned to my chagrin these drugs have a half-life. Like plutonium (though not as long). And when you go off the drugs without working yourself down, your brain turns on you. You are suddenly overwhelmed with anxiety. That I expected and was prepared for. What I wasn't? The vivid, crazy, scary dreams. That was fun. And then Monday, the kicker set in: Brain Zaps. As best as I can describe, it is like a DJ scratching an album inside your head. Every 1-4 minutes and THAT made me crazy.

How long did I stay like this? Until about 4:00 pm. This afternoon. Yup. I have been half-nuts that long.

Currently, I am back to mellow. So I would like to thank Rosario and her staff at my local Osco Pharmacy for their repeated calls to my Dr.'s office and being sweet to me even though I must have seemed nutzzzz. They seemed to understand what was happening in my head when I couldn't quite explain it to Fun Daddy, the teens and even my Doctor.

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