Fun and Games with the Family

Yesterday, I hosted my father's birthday dinner.

Naturally, it was just us. My asshole sister hasn't been part of the family in years. So naturally that means just my girls. Not my nephews who probably wouldn't recognize me or my parents if they walked by us.

Family means alot to my family.

So naturally, you know how much I enjoyed getting this email this morning... apparently my bad for not checking my email yesterday.

Notice caption below painting !!

This should hang in the White House parlor !! (Complete With Caption !!---Of Course !!!!)

So I said to him, "Barak, I know Abe Lincoln, and you ain't him."

HAHA... isn't that funny? Why isn't it HI-STERICAL to send political emails to your daughter who has repeatedly asked you not to? Haha! Yeah!

Then typical of my family... I got another one.... 15 hours later from my cousin. He also thinks it is HI-STERICAL to send this shit to me too... Cuz the more often I get the same annoying email, the FUNNIER it is. And that is what Bob is always telling me. I need to lighten up. It's just funny, right?

So.. cuz I am funny too. I sent this:

I'm sorry... Did you clear this through your fearless leader?

If not. Go do what is expected of you... click here

Because I think it is HI-STERICAL that every Republican cowtows to a three times divorced drug addict as their moral center.

Apparently one of my cuz's buddies doesn't approve.

Patrick Hurley: who is this?

Me: Gretchen Neuman

Patrick Hurley: I do not know you. Why are you writing to me?

Me: No doubt because you were on the email list that one of my relatives used to forward the original "Excellent Painting!!" email. According to my family, I have no sense of humor regarding their continuously sending me obnoxious email. If you are having issues with being kept on the email chain, then you must have no sense of humor either. If you are having an issue with this, I suggest that you take it up with whichever of my relatives included you on the email. Have a great Sunday.

Patrick Hurley: I don't appreciate your comments. They are judgmental and self-serving. I am a three time Emmy award winner for stand up comedy. You don't know what you are talking about. Please take me off your list. You are rude and uninformed.

Me: Dear Pat, A 3 time Emmy award winner for stand up comedy? Now THAT is hysterical, since that isn't an award category. Why is it that my family and their friends always think that I would fall for such obvious lies. Must be that sense of humor again. Unfortunately since I don't a choice about the emails that I get from my family... and so while you are on their email list you will get my responses. I am not entirely sure why you think you deserve to be let off the hook. As for judgmental, self-serving and rude? You can take that up with my family. My polite emails were ignored. What is a gal to do? You want off my end of the list? Take it up with Bob.

Patrick Hurley: I did win three Emmys. doing stand up comedy in children's shows I produced, wrote and hosted. Take me off your list. Thank you.

Me: Congrats. When I am off the list, you will be off the list. Talk to Bob.

Me to Bob: Now if the joke is that being family I have to take this quietly... continue. I hope this isn't a guy you like or respect.

Lucky me! My cousin's friends are bozos too.