Finally! A small victory!

Yes, Maman has finally had a satisfactory outcome when dealing with the Schmitts.

See we were trying to get the phone and cable installed. And yes, that means that something had to be installed on the west wall of the house. So I warned the installer that there might be trouble and he started going about his work.

Sure enough, I could hear the dog next door, Ellis and my neighbor, Tom Schmitt both barking like rabid dogs. I went outside to check on what was going on and found that the installer, known only to me as 6874 was backing away from the work site. "He said that he would sic his dog on me," he told me. I came around to find Tom holding his place behind the pitiful broken down and locked fence.

Me: No, you can't do this... this is the installation of a utility.

TS: They can't step on my property

Me: (Pointing to the space where 6874 needed to stand) But that is my property. And you have blocked access to it.

TS: Fine, then he can jump the fence

Me: Or I can get the snips and cut it right here where your fence is on my property to give him access. The choice is yours. Shall I get them?

TS: (Hesitating) Fine, I will open the gate.

Yes folks... I managed to make an argument that even Tom Schmitt could understand... at least for a moment.

Of course, the discourse while he was standing over me and the Comcast installer was not pleasant....

TS: Are you enjoying yourself?

Me: No....I am just trying to figure out how to get my house finished. Are you enjoying yourself?

TS: No. You better watch out. I am going to be around alot more. (Presumably referring to his recent unemployment)

Me: Oh yes, congratuations on that.

TS: I don't have to find a job for a while... I can retire if I want.

Me: Congratulations.

TS: It is going to be a really hot summer

Me: Fantastic. Oh and by the way... I hope I never find out that you have been surveilling my house.

TS: That is just a satellite radio

Me: Maybe. Maybe not. I figured out what the range extender was...

TS: That is just an antenna

Me: Yes. That says linksys. I can read you know.

TS: Well it isn't there now

Me: Don't worry. I have pictures that I took of it when I was trying to figure out what the all electronics were on my side of house. It seemed a little suspicious that it all appeared just before you went out of town.

TS: It is just a radio

Me: Whatever.

TS: (Removing a piece of siding from his decrepit house) See what your people did to my house?

Me: (Thinking about it for a minute... remember he has fussed about stuff that was big, small, real and imagined) So you say... Where is the proof that my people did that

TS: They did this to my house.

Me: We would have fixed it for you anyway even though you can't prove we did it.... but then you kept calling the police and stopped us from putting up the gutters... so, I hope you hold your breath waiting for your extortion payment of $2,500. Because it is never coming.

TS: I had to take 4 days off of work... that is $1,000

Me: A. You didn't HAVE to take off from work. And B. there is no way that the amount of money you lost as a result of coming home early was anywhere near $1,000

TS: Are you saying that I don't make that much money?

Me: Yes... that is what I am saying

TS: I used to make $30 and hour

Me: I guess the operative words there are "used to"

TS: Oh I have flyers up... I will be back to work soon

Me: (rolling my eyes) Whatever... good luck with that. Hope nobody runs a Google search on you before hiring you.

TS: I don't care

Me: No doubt.

So hopefully that is the last I will have to do with any of them for a while. I was hoping that they would move. But that doesn't seem likely at this juncture. After threatening the Comcast guy with bodily injury and using his dog as a potential weapon, I suppose I should take his statement about it being a "Hot Summer" this summer as an additional threat.

With their penchant for fireworks, I suppose I should be prepared for an arson attempt. I am going to feel better when the security system is installed in the house. How sad that I am now trying to protect myself and the girls from my neighbor.

Oh and I called the folks at Comcast and called in a commendation for good old 6874.... No one should have to be threatened with physical violence in the course of their day at work. I told his superiors what happened and that he remained cool under pressure and did a great job with the installation.

Inching...

And it is killing me! If I don't get into the house soon I am going to lose it. I had to go over today to accept deliver of (and less amusingly) pay for the appliances... But the good news is that most of the stuff looks fantastic and the builder decided that we don't have to vent it the hood to the west side of the house near the evil neighbors... (although I had evil dreams about alternating preparing really good smelling or exceptionally foul smelling foods to be vented into their yard. Ahhh, a girl can dream...) now the vent is on the east side. WHEE! Soon I will be flambé-ing at will... without any further fear of singeing cookbooks (Julia Child wouldn't have minded).

The bad? Well, the microwave sent over was the wrong model.. it was supposed to be undermounted to a cabinet. Oh and I still can't install my gutters until the fucktard neighbors move... and I am sure that Eric Schmitt was peeking through the blinds or the two wind mirror coating that only the discerning paranoid uses on their front door window to take account of what types of appliances that we got. No doubt, they will be upping their blackmail demand accordingly.

Oh, I did get a nice picture of the filles! And that is considering that they were peeved at me for keeping them close to me while we were at the house. Hey! There were a lot of workmen scurrying around with sharp tools... I think that makes me une bonne maman... but I doubt that they think so.

Getting Closer!

Another day... and more progress. Yesterday, I noticed that the porch was going onto the house... Ooops, please note that I have failed to provide that picture...

However I did manage to snag some others....

First the backplash in the kitchen... from a distance and closer up... I am really digging the way it looks with the cabinets as like with everything else, I have selected this item blindly. The builder asked me if I remembered the color of the grout that I had selected... I almost laughed out loud. I can't remember my own name these days. C'est la vie, I suppose.

Next, is the toilet that is installed in the powder room... yes, it is pretty spiffy and very modern. It is probably the funkiest thing that we are doing in the house... well, that entire bathroom is... I can't wait to show you what the sink will look like.. but it isn't in yet! GRRRR.

Next, is something that completely amazes me. That is the kids pogo stick. It was in the backyard when the demolition started. They asked what we wanted done with it. I said, "TOSS IT!" But for some odd reason, every crew that comes into the house to work has kept it and now it is sitting in my living room.

Finally, my last shot is of the staircase... it still needs the rails at the landing and a final coat of pain, but it looks great. And the builder said that it casts a beautiful shadow at sunset. I can't wait to see it.

The appliances are supposed to be installed Thursday... and painting should be done next week... This is driving me crazy!

Oh, and I still don't have my west side gutters up and now I am finding out that the hood for the range has to be vented out... you guessed it... the west side of the house.

Does anyone know anything about extortion law in Illinois?

Scum Sucking Extortionist Pricks

That is what lives next door to me....

Remember me mentioning my neighbors the Schmitts. Tommy, Eric, and Kurtis? Well, they are at it again. They finally agreed, with the assistance of one of my neighbors to talk to Fun Daddy about the gutters and downspouts...

Fun Daddy gets home and drops this little bomb on me... Apparently, we can get our gutters put up. But it is going to cost us $2,500 in extortion. See, everytime Tom Schmitt came home because Erick was afraid of having to talk to me, himself, Tom feels that he is owed restitution. And apparently his sense of self worth is over inflated. Additionally, they feel that they will have to resod a portion of t heir lawn. (This should shock the weeds out of their minds). I am out of my mind angry. As I type this, my hands are shaking in rage.

No wonder they want to talk to Fun Daddy... They know I will never go for that. He just wants to get the work done and will probably pay the pricks off. I can't imagine that they will do much more than pocket the extortion money... They certainly haven't been know to do much to keep up the property... You can tell that from these pix of their house... They are trying to sell it without painting it! I have lived in the neighborhood for nearly 16, and they have NEVER painted their house during that time.

I know that I am supposed to feel sorry for these losers. After the fire at their house, their wife and mother left them... She has been gone for about a decade. But I don't feel bad for them. I am sure she was pleased to say good riddance to poor trash. Even if some of them are her own spawn.

I don't feel sympathy that Tom might lose his job at White Way Signs.... I am sure that a man with his lack of imagination and education will find it difficult to find work at his age. But I don't care right now. I want Kurtis to lose his job at UPS too. Extortionists should not be allowed to ever profit.

I also feel no sympathy for Eric. I know that he has rheumatoid arthritis and I should feel sorry for him. Frankly, we always thought he had osteo-arthritis from the time he dove out his bedroom window headfirst when their house was on fire... We assumed he had started the fire from smoking pot, like he often did as a youth. at least when his folks were out of town. And since he drinks instead of taking his meds and I have dealt with his threats of acts of violence when he has been drunk, I really do wish him ill...

The only creature that I do feel sorry for in that household is the dog. It goes outside for about 10 minutes a day and has become obese lack of activity and overindulgence at the hands of his idiot keepers. Oh and also because the poor beast is used to threaten me and the contractors. Who will pay the ultimate price for that when it is reported? The poor dog, who will end up destroyed.

The worst is that I doubt that they will settle for the payday that they will get from us. Isn't that the classic rule about extortionists? Once they have a piece of you, they are unlikey to want to give it up. I am sure that they will wait until someone accidently steps on their lawn and claim that the unfortunate soul is secretly owing crab grass and picking paint chips off their house.

Either way, they will be looking for another payout.